Guess the number

I come between two and four,
let's describe me a little bit more.
I'm half of six,
odd yet in my prime,
I'm also the square root of number nine.

The magic number; a hat trick,
this poem's not long
so have a guess, quick!

How many muskateers,
wishes, degrees,
coins in a fountain,
Beejees?

How many kings or wise men,
tenors, blind mice,
Charlie's Angels,
points for a win,
sides on a triangle?

I'm the holy trinity,
Tom, Dick and Harry,
french hens at Christmas,
strikes and your out!

If you haven't guessed me by now,
you must be thrice over the limit,
let's see,
mine's a triple
or maybe just a cup of tea.

Biscuits: All butter biscuit trio

Taste test: 8.2 out of 10

Cost: £1.86 from Waitrose in Lymington

Eating My Words

A Christmas Caramel - Scrooge's recipe for festive fun

One: needles falling from a pine tree.

Two turkey twizzlers.

Three rain-drenched dreary reindeer.

Four ridiculous round robins.

Five broken bulbs.

Six slushy, stifling soaps.

Seven solid, Stollen slices.

Eight egregious elves.

Nine noxious noggins.

Ten tedious, time-wasting films.

Eleventh-hour Christmas Eve shopping.

Twelve o’clock, New Year’s Eve,

Alone and nowhere to go.

Happy Humbug.


Biscuit: Fox's Chocolatey Caramels

Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost:  Gift from Olly, he couldn't resist them.

Polished Off

Paluszki, Paluszki
they're polish not ruski,
our friend Richard brought them back
he's in the RAF, an important chap.

They didn't survive the journey well,
all crumbled and broken and as stale as hell.
Soft in texture, orange in taste,
enrobed in chocolate, they were eaten post haste.

Made by Krakuski, perhaps in Krakow [pronounced Krakoff],
It didn't take long to polish them off.

Biscuit: Paluszki

Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: 3.75 zloty from Poland (thanks Rich)