Tuesday, 9 February 2016

Fantastic Fingers

Fingers are very useful things,
without them where would we put our rings?

Two thumbs and eight fingers each,
allows us all to peel a peach.
without them we'd struggle to eat,
or put the shoes upon our feet.

Two thumb and eight fingers a piece,
allows us all to signal peace.
Without them we'd be digit less,
digital devices rendered useless.

Fingers are not just extras,
they point and poke and make us dexterous.

Biscuit: Arden & Amici Sponge Fingers
Taste test:  9 out of 10
Cost:£1.39 from Waitrose

Tuesday, 2 February 2016

What makes you happy?

Food makes Brian happy,
without it he gets snappy.
Simon yearns to win the lottery,
he'd escape the UK to be hot and free.
When Karl's with Debbie he starts to stutter,
because she sends his heart a flutter.
Olly loves his dreams,
better than reality it seems.
Paul's content with a full house at bingo,
he shouts 'HOUSE' - he knows the lingo!
For all the girls tea's where it's at,
or out shopping for this and that.
What makes you happy?

Biscuit: BN raspberry biscuits
Taste test:  6 out of 10
Cost:£1.29 from Tesco

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

Tuesday, 12 January 2016

r.i.p Bowie

ashes to ashes 
dust to stardust
David Bowie

he was all of our heroes
for decades not days
an artist, musician, actor,
a fascination in so many ways

he was a space oddity,
changing perceptions 
with his flamboyance,
gender and artistic performance

he embraced modern love,
fashion was a passion,
certainly no rebel rebel with a cause,
never driven by fame or applause.

a jean genie-us,
let's dance in his honour,
a musical Lazarus,
his songs live on in all of us.

Biscuit: European Cookies - Kirkland Signature
Taste test:  9 out of 10
Cost: A Christmas Gift

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Our 2016 Predictions

Rain will march across the country
from West to East
Bringing heavy down pours
at the very least

Romance will cloud the air
it's a leap year ladies
so propose
if you dare

Will put spring in your step
but caution
it may still snow
there's time yet

Shower, showers
and more showers
the waterlogged meadows
will bear no flowers

The Saints will come
marching in
to FA cup glory
with a Wembley win

Murray will create
a triumphant scene
on the tennis courts
of SW19

Zut Alors
It's the Euros once more
When we hope England
will do better than before

Festivals will be at'tent'ed
by the nation's youth
sales of wellies
will go through the roof

An Indian Summer
we forecast
it's time for the Headway Holiday
at last

You may vote
to quite the EU
depending on
your point of view

Fireworks will
light up this month
giving us all
some much needed umph!

Snow will bring
the country to a halt
and the councils
will run out of salt

Biscuit: Green Bean Mini Cookies
Taste test:  2 out of 10
Cost: An interesting choice from Hong Kong

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

What am I?

I'm spicy
and feisty
I have a tan
like I've been tan-goed
My fixed grin
stops me going back in the tin
I'm androgynous
yet gorg-e-ous
Do I feak you out, maybe?
because I look like a biscuit jelly baby?
Grandmothers bake me for Christmas treats
Kids bite my head and my feet
What am I?

Biscuit: Tesco's Gingerbread Men
Taste test:  7 out of 10
Cost: Christmas gift

Tuesday, 15 December 2015


Major Tim Peake
Will be breaking a record this week,
he's the first male Briton ,
to grace space.

He blasted off at 11:03
no doubt dreaming of a mug
of proper brewed tea.

He'll be joining fellow astronauts
on the rocket SOYUZ,
if he doesn't make it back
it will be a field day for the lawyers.

We applaud the giants steps
he's taking to INFINITY and beyond,
we hope the mission's genuine
and we're not sat here being conned.

You're a brave man Tim,
quite unique,
zooming in a rust-bucket that's, let's face it, antique,
we wish you LUCK and safe return,
upon re-entry don't let those nostril hairs burn.

Biscuit: Nairn's Astro Bites
Taste test:  8 out of 10
Cost: £1.59 from Ocado