Thursday, 4 April 2019

Coronation by Spike Milligan

Today we feasted on All Butter Stem Ginger Cookies and ready poetry by Spike Milligan.

This one's our favourite:


Said Prince Charles 
When they placed
The Crown on his head
I suppose this means
That Mummy's dead

Tuesday, 19 March 2019

Number 300

Today marks our 300th rhyming feat,
we've eaten our own body weights in biscuity treats!
Poems have been inspired by
Wagon Wheels, Ginger Nuts,
Jaffa Cakes and Lemon Puffs,
we've scoffed them all and can't get enough.
We've sampled interesting biscuits from distant shores,
squashed in suitcases from holiday tours,
and ventured towards the savoury snack,
but the lure of sugar drew us back,
today's biscuit is a posh pack for our special day,
contributing nicely to our dental decay!

Biscuits:Elizabeth Shaw Coconut and Hazlenut
Tasting Notes: Yipeeeee
Score:  300 out of 300

Tuesday, 5 March 2019

Flour Power

All over the world
people will be whisking up a treat,
with toppings of their choice,
savour or sweet.
We'll be flipping all morning at Headway
to celebrate Pancake Day!

All you need are eggs, milk and flour,
to give our self some pancake power.
Put the mixture in the pan,
and toss it until you get a golden tan,
if it lands on the ceiling or on the floor
you'd better get mixing up some more.

Sugar and lemon is our topping of choice,
or you could say 'Crepe Suzette' in a French voice.
Ruud prefers cheese, Olly likes honey and cream,
whilst Nutella and banana is Fiona's dream.

Those who fancy a pancake flambe,
just call the fire brigade and run away.
If our concoctions fail to make you merry,
you can always contact Mary Berry.

Biscuits:All Butter fruit and oat cookies
Tasting Notes: Delicious and buttery
Score:  8.5 out of 10

Tuesday, 26 February 2019

Did you know?

The unicorn only has one horn,
it feels forlorn,
on account of being extinct
since the dawn (of time),
this poem sucks,
these biscuits are yuck
and should be withdrawn

Biscuits: Flipz Unicornz
Tasting Notes: Awful and lilac, smell like unicorn poo
Score:  1 out of 10

Tuesday, 12 February 2019

To Bee or not to Bee

What would happen to our civilisation
If there was no bee pollination?
Because we're destroying their habitat,
There will be no food and that is that.

We need to stop using pesticides
or else the species won't survive,
if man can cultivate the land
bees will give a helping hand

Bees need our love
to stay alive in their hive,
With Valentines Day on the way
Give your honey some flowers that day.

Tuesday, 5 February 2019

Year of the Pig

Time to celebrate it's Chinese New Year,
Have a takeaway and a sneaky beer!

Do a little jig,
it's the Year of the Pig.

Pigs like to rout about and snuffle,
as they hunt around for a hidden truffle,

Do a little jig,
it's the Year of the Pig.

Pigs are clean and smart,
even though all they seem to do is fart.

Do a little jig,
it's the Year of the Pig.

Pigs are omnivores and love their veg,
they are often found rooting around in a hedge,

Do a little jig,
it's the Year of the Pig.

The verderers, the Forest they like to manage,
by sending out the pigs to pannage,

Do a little jig,
it's the Year of the Pig.

In China they'll be running around in the muck,
because in Chinese astrology pigs mean good luck.

Yeah, we are definitely going to dig
the Year of the Pig!

Biscuits: Hello Panda
Tasting Notes: Unusual and fun
Score: 8 out of 10

Thursday, 31 January 2019

The Lonely Moon

It's a lonely rock in the midst of space,
full of beauty,
full of grace,
only 12 people have visited its cratered crust,
two dozen boots have stirred it's dust.

Like all of us it has a dark side,
it affects our water and pulls our tide,
werewolves will howl when they come out at night,
seeking victims to bite in its eery light.

The romance of the lune
makes everyone swoon,
heavenly satellite,
our eternal moon.

Biscuits: Lemon and Lime Jaffa Cakes
Tasting Notes: Tangy
Score: 7 out of 10