Tuesday, 23 May 2017

Kitchen Appeal

Let's hope everyone will pitch in
'Cos we really need a new kitchen
The old one's not very good looking
We've got no room to do the cooking

We desperately want something finer
Quick let's find a designer
The tea station is moving to keep us calm
And a lovely new cooker won't set off the alarm

The existing fridge is really quite old
We need a new one to keep our food cold
The dishwasher has seen better days
It's time to start a new culinary phase

A smart new kitchen will sparkle and shine
And make our cooking taste even more divine!

We need to raise £6000 for a new kitchen, to donate please go to: https://www.justgiving.com/campaigns/charity/headwaysouthampton/kitchenappeal

Tuesday, 16 May 2017

Undigested Indecision

Doctor, Doctor we have a serious case of indecision
over 900 channels on the television
we're always being bombarded by the media
with all the choices they want to feed ya

Day to day, so many voices
offering up so many choices
time for us to digress
let's get out of this mess

Life needs to be simplified
the important things should be prioritised
support the things that matter
get rid of the useless clutter

Make sure you make the right call
these decisions may affect us all.

Biscuit: Orange Digestive Biscuits
Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: £1 from Tesco in New Milton

Tuesday, 9 May 2017

A to Z of Brain Injury

A is for aneurysm - that's mindblowing
B is for brain injury, the invisible disability
C is for cerebral cortex, our grey matter
D is for dysphasia that hampers communication
E is for emotional change and never feeling the same again
F is for forgetful, often forgetting what you want to say
G is for glial cells that glue the brain together
I is for inhibitions lost
J is for journey towards recovery
K is for knowledge, learning about brain injury
L is for long term condition
M is for memory, who am I?
N is for neurons - 100 billion in your brain
O is for occipital lobe that controls your vision
P is for personality that can change in an instant
Q is for questioning your own sanity
R is for rehabilitation of your mental situation
S is for sensory impairment, sight, taste, hearing, smell and touch
T is for temporal lobe that is all about communication
U is for uncertainty about your future
V is for victory, surviving a brain injury
X if for all the x-rays to be endured
Y is for why me?
Zzzzz is for the never ending fatigue.....

Biscuit: Kex
Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: £1.15 from Ikea in Southampton

Tuesday, 25 April 2017

A Weird World

The world has turned weird.
Everyone’s growing a beard.
The world has turned weird
And it’s worse than we feared.
The world has turned weird.
Trump, the new messiah has appeared
The world has turned weird.
Way off course it’s careered.
Once presidents persuaded and steered.
Now they’re sneered at and jeered.
Politician’s names are smeared
As to their claims they have not adhered.
The world has turned weird.
Common sense has disappeared.
The world has turned weird,
Upside down and North Koreaed.
It’s so sad that we’re reduced to a sneer.
So much better if we learned to love and not to fear.

Marlene’s Clotted Cream
Shortbread from Exmouth

Tuesday, 18 April 2017

The Nuclear Option

These Chinese biscuits are green and nuclear
They are a fitting snack
When the future is so unclear

USA and North Korea stop playing on our atomic fear
it feels like the end of the world is drawing near

The two leaders, Trump and Kim Jong Un
need to compromise and get on
to find a peaceful solution

North Korean activist Park Yeong-Mi
is speaking up bravely for the world to see
she's urging China to put on pressure and authority
and to stop turning back scared refugees

Please act now before it ends in catastrophe
and we see the outbreak of World War III

Biscuit: Jasmine and Oolong Tea Cookies
Taste test: 6 out of 10
Cost: Gift from China

Friday, 7 April 2017

Newly Minted

The new pound coin produced by the Royal Mint
Has a bronze metallic hologram-style glint
And will stop the forgers making us skint.
Roast lamb with rosemary and mint
Will make our eyes sparkle and glint
Unless we’re short of cash and skint

Most of us have a favourite mint.
Katie likes a polo from her pocket stuck with lint.
Shan loves choc chip ices with a hint
Of green, hot and cool peppermint.
Jen’s favourite is not even a mint but Swiss Lindt.
Perhaps she’s offering an Easter hint.

Katie has a new hat, green as mint,
Shaped like a brain, with a bluish tint,
Bought in Ikea to make us squint.
Jamie has new glasses, their condition mint,
Anti-glare, with a photo-reactive tint,
So in sunlight he need not squint.

Paul likes Matchmakers and almost any other mint.
You can stick them to your fingers and make them sprint
But because they melt they’re no use as a splint.
All of us will relish a cool glacier mint
After a long day and an Olympic sprint.
‘At night’, Paul tells us, ‘I wear a splint.’

Dave arriving late, cholesterol high, should take the doctor’s hint,
study hard the medicinal small print
and drink his tea in litres laced with mint.
Mint Chocolate Rounds from Lidl
With silver in the middle,
Like the new one pound,
But round.

Biscuit: Mint Chocolate Rounds,
Taste test: 8.5 out of 10
Cost: From Lidl in Totton - cheap!

Tuesday, 28 March 2017

Branching Out

The New Forest was made in honour
As a hunting ground for William the Conqueror
To shoot deer amongst the trees
Of which there are so many varieties.

Our Bill was a Gallic or garlic bloke
And built his invasion ships from mighty oak.
He gave the English army such a bash,
With an arrow in the eye for Harold made of ash.

At the Balmer Lawn they say ‘Owzat’
As they play cricket with a willow bat.
When the Forest weather is fine
You can stroll through avenues of pine.

And in springtime you can see
Pale pink blossom on the cherry tree.
In summer heat you can rest in shade
Of a rare elm or dark beech glade.

Autumn brings the crab apple glut,
Hazels and the fire-roasted chestnut.
It sows the spinning seeds of sycamore
And lets loose the woodsman with his chainsaw.

When there’s frost on the ground the foresters produce
Abundant quantities of Norway spruce.
Christmas is the proverbial season to be jolly
So try your pudding with a sprig of holly.

Among the names we have neglected to use
Are the redwood, cypress, fir and Serbian spruce,
The larch and alder, birch and elder and other species
Because it’s so hard to 'cedar wood for the trees'.

We wanted to include this olive biscuit
But decided not to risk it.
It is made with onion and cheese,
Which coincidentally rhymes with ‘trees’.

Biscuit: Grissini Cipolle or Italian Bread Sticks,
gathered from Italian Bread Trees.
Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: A gift from the Bread Tree