Tuesday, 17 October 2017

Ophelia's Storm in a Teacup with Biscuits


As the Saharan storm winds blew
The skies turned an eerie yellow hue
In Ireland they had a tempestuous breeze
That lifted seas and uprooted trees

The effects on the landscape
and scenery were disastrous
the results of climate change
are tumultuous

If  you are a global warming
skeptic
The sight may have been
apocalyptic

If it was the end of the world
the earth would tremble
The underworld it would
resemble

However in true British style
it was grim for a couple of hours
shortly followed
by sun and showers

Biscuits: Fox's Fabulous Selection
Taste test: 9.2 out of 10
Cost: A gift from Martyn

Tuesday, 10 October 2017

Catalexit



Should they go or should they stay?
The world is falling to pieces
Like these biscuits that are broken
And the promises that politicians have spoken

Tribal drums are beating
Leaving populations seething.
The rush for globalisation
Has produced more fragmentation.

In Majorca and Venice
They protest against tourism’s menace.
Tear gas and rubber bullets in the blazing sun
Are not the way to prevent a referendum.

The voice of the Kurds is still not heard
Although their cause is not absurd.
Myanmar is in a state
As Rohingya Moslems flee their fate.

Nationalism may be a blessing or a curse
But violence only makes things worse.

The last of last week’s broken biscuits
Helped us make this verse.

Biscuits: The last of the Box of Broken Biscuits
Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: A gift

Thursday, 28 September 2017

Fragments: An assortment of poetic definitions



Biscuit Poets at Headway
celebrate national poetry day.

To us poetry means an active brain
a chance to quip, quibble and complain.

Poetry means camaraderie
a friendship like Laurel and Hardy.

A time to reflect and collaborate
to contemplate our mental state.

Poetry is linguistic exploration
a time for relaxation.

Our group gives motivation
for unique verbal creation.

Poetry means Roger McGough
Wordsworth and loads of other stuff.

Poetry means Pam Ayres
the story of her teeth that she so often shares.

Poetry is our sugar rush,
the flow of words that sometimes makes us blush.

Written by our self-styled misfits
grazing on broken biscuits.

Poetry is an opportunity to learn
a Tuesday session to which we return.

Poetry means lines that rhyme
but with us not quite every time.

A verbal bonanza
written in some strange stanza.

Poetry is the calm in the storm
a break from the humdrum norm.

So for us the 28th September
is a day to remember
for the nation's celebration
of so much poetic exhilaration.

Biscuits: Box of Broken Biscuits
Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: A gift


Tuesday, 19 September 2017

Tosh and Piffle



At Headway we're not averse,
to speaking tosh and nonsensical verse.
Twaddle, gobbledigook, bunkum and double dutch,
we speak them all fluently with a very fine touch

Yet the posh speak tosh to impress,
littering their language with dross to excess.
Whilst Trump slates all the news as phoney,
and runs the White House by tweeting baloney.

Codswallop, gibberish, drivel and tripe,
ignore the tosh speakers - don't believe their hype.
Tommyrot and hyperbole creating a fug
close your ears it's all just humbug!


Biscuit: Tosh chocolate and hazelnut biscuits
Taste test: 9.8 out of 10
Cost: Gift from Costa Rica

Tuesday, 5 September 2017

Back to Skool


We are sitting comfortably
so we'll begin,
let's go through the round window,
and see what delights it has to show.

Look, the nation's children wait,
with anticipation and elation at the school gate.
It's back to skool for all,
welcome back assembly in the hall,
new teachers and timetables,
new class mates and name labels.

First lesson - double maths,
with not that many laffs!
Watching the clock hands go round,
waiting for the bell to sound.

Summer is over and it's time to knuckle down,
put on your school pullover,
replace your smile with a frown,
or just take on your new role as class clown.

Biscuit: Jammy Wheels
Taste test: 7 out of 10
Cost: 34p from Lidl

Tuesday, 29 August 2017

If I was the King of Spain



If I was the king of Spain
I’d summon summer rain.
I’d have paella every day
On a plate with gold inlay.

If I were king of Spain
I’d make everyone equal again.
If I ruled the roost
I’d give each pay packet a boost.

I’d give you all a holiday
So you can stretch your legs and play.
I’d sing our anthem with castanets
And cancel all the national debts.

I’d revive the peseta.
I’d be a job creator.
I’d spend all my time on the beach,
Ripening in the sun like a peach.

I’d feed on lobster and John Dory,
An evening menu that’s quite a story.
I’d make cerveza free for all
So we’d all get drunk
And have a right, royal ball

I’d go to Palma Nova
But steer clear of Barcelona.
So, Viva Espana.
I’ll do all that – manana.

Tuesday, 15 August 2017

Thank you Team GB



We saw Usain's last bolt
which brought his record breaking career to a halt,
Mighty Mo ran his last track race
coming first and second's no disgrace,
Britain put on a great display
and smashed it in the men's relay,
Laura Muir nearly medalled and did us proud
she ran her heart out for the UK crowd,
Jonathan Edward's triple jump record was at risk
when a USA athlete almost beat it but missed,
We're exhausted from watching, we've got nothing left
Thank you Team GB - you really are the best!

Biscuit: Butterfinger Cups
Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: A gift from Sue