Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Hip to be Square

Today it's hip to be square
4 equal sides, 2 dimensional
Perfect to divide and share
To be square is to be conventional

Today it's hip to be square
4 lines of symmetry, 2 faces
Perfect to stack over there
Constructive tessellation
Building towers in different places

Biscuit: Rice Krispies Squares
Taste test: 7 out of 10
Cost: £1.69 for 4 from Tesco in New Milton

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Nude Korean Treats

Korean biscuit sticks, a food
With flavours so much more than good,
‘original’, ‘almond’ and ‘nude’
Although we do not wish to be rude.

When this blog began we did not foresee a
Day that we would eat biscuits from Korea.
They dissolve so sweetly in the mouth,
So we assume they’re from the south.

Sent from the Institute of Sejong,
On the plate they hardly lasted long.
We’d like to thank the language students there
For their gift, so generous and fair.

Three whole packets we ate in a trice.
We’re glad they were not from north of the border,
Where all they consume is a bowl of plain rice,
Where Kim and his cronies keep rigid order.

We hope they don’t follow our blog today,
And choose to send their next rocket our way.
Now we think we should end what we say
Before we get blown completely away.

Biscuit: Lotte Pepero
Taste test: 9.999 out of 10
Cost: A gift from the Institute of Sejong 

Friday, 7 November 2014

Making A Mint

From Lidl, assuming there’s no fiddle.

Poor old Lloyds have almost no money.
Don’t you find that terribly funny.

Other banks are making a mint.
They’ve left the rest of us skint.

They’re so choc full of cash
They can’t hide their huge stash.

Their managers feel no stress
They’ve followed the rules of RBS.

Like Fred the Shred they live so well
And leave the rest of us to rot in hell.

The staff will come off worst, we bet,
As the black horse gallops into the sunset.

Short and sweet like this biscuit.
Our accountant, Jegan, has worked out
The proportion of chocolate in it.

Eighty nine per cent or just about.

Biscuit: Mister CHOC  Crispy Mint Choco Chips 
Taste test: 8.5 out of 10
Cost: Cheap as chips from Lidl in Totton

Friday, 24 October 2014

Happy Birthday

Today is someone's birthday,
is it your's today?
Are you celebrating
or will you hide away?
Are you happy to exist
adding wishes to your list,
or do you turn the other cheek
when offered a birthday kiss?

People are divided
into the celebrators and the nots,
those who won't tell a soul
and would rather it forgot,
and the others who like to
broadcast the fact,
who yearn to be pampered
and patted on the back.

However you choose to mark
the passing of your years,
be it with a party, cake or
a round of cheers.
Acknowledge the fact
that you're a year wiser,
ever closer to your obituary
in the local Advertiser.

Biscuit: DeBeukelaer ChocOle
Taste test: 9.9 out of 10
Cost: £1.39 from Waitrose in Lymington

Monday, 20 October 2014

Recycle (H)it

For us, this biscuit is not a hit,
if we had our way we'd recycle it.
We'd leave it, lonely, outside the gate,
post on Freecycle and patiently wait
for someone to take it to put on their plate.

But what if it were left for days on end?
Ignored, alone, without a friend,
abandoned outside like a social misfit,
'til a dog came along and took the biscuit.

Biscuit: Bahlsen Hit
Taste test: 1.5 out of 10
Cost: A gift from Anita from Poland via USA!

Monday, 13 October 2014

Bore bon

Do you remember?
when you were a child
poetry was just boring,
at the time when your imagination
was running wild,
it would start you snoring.

As you grow,
words have flow,
they take on meaning
and verse
speaks to you
with feeling.

As a juvenile
poetry fails to make you smile,
yet as an adolescent
it starts to make more sense
and hence,
gives you verbal wealth
to express yourself.

Poems provide words
when the tongue is tied
and emotions are running high.
Then the spoken word
doesn't sound so absurd.

Biscuit: Tesco Bourbon Cream Biscuits
Taste test: 8.9 out of 10
Cost: 49p from Tesco in Brockenhurst

Monday, 6 October 2014

October come she will

Mist shrouds the silver sun.
Leaves decay and crumble.
Like this chipped choc cookie.
Or a song by Simon and Garfunkel.

Light fades at six and seven.
The air is bleak and chill with cold.
God has deserted his heaven.

‘A love once new has now grown old.’

Biscuit: Fairglobe Cranberry Cookies
Taste test: 7 out of 10
Cost: Anonymous gift