Wednesday, 9 July 2014

Pairing Up

The matrimonial merge of pink 'n white
in a biscuit with marshmallow
is a brilliant bite
like fish 'n chips
tasty to swallow

Coupled with bread 'n butter
me 'n you lot and lots for us to chew
ascending the apples 'n pears
hearts a flutter
serenading each other with rhythm 'n blues

This poem is dedicated to Cami who just got officially paired up.

Biscuit: Pink 'N' Whites by Caxton
Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: 99p from Lidl

Tuesday, 24 June 2014

There was a young man from Costa Rica.....

There was a young man from Costa Rica,
who lost his heart to a streaker,
he took his eye off the ball,
which was a very bad call,
as he was their national keeper.

Biscuit: Delizie
Taste test: 7.5 out of 10
Cost: A gift from Vicky and Anita from Lidl

Wednesday, 18 June 2014

Have some free advice Roy

So on Thursday it's Uruguay,
the nation lets out a collective sigh,
Come on England we need to win,
or St George's flag will end up in the bin.

Lambert, Lallana and Shaw are our new saints,
put them in the team Roy and there'll be no complaints.
Return Rooney to centre forward - the right place,
then you'll have a team that won't disgrace.

Let the fans eat biscuit hat tricks,
to inspire Sturridge to score goals quick.
Coleen, Wag Queen, will arrive today,
her presence will raise Wayne's state of play.

Just six more games 'til we raise the cup,
winning smiles, champagne to sup,
C'mon three lions keep the vision alive,
defeat Uruguay, let hope survive.

Biscuit: Fox's Party Footballs
Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: Found them on the bus.

Wednesday, 11 June 2014

A Biscuit Poetry Performance

Come and see us perform this Saturday 14th June upstairs at the Art House in Southampton at the RejectorSlip Poetry Festival.

Terry, Gary, Lee, Olly, Karl, Shan,Vicky and Jo will be taking the stage at 4:30pm for a half an hour slot of magical poems inspired guessed it......biscuits!

We hope to see you there.

Address: The Art House, 178 Above Bar Street, Southampton, SO14 7DW

Monday, 9 June 2014


This week’s biscuit comes from Jo.
Strangely, it’s called Polo.
Wrapped in green and white and gold,
colours of Ireland, young and old.

By Jacobs of Dublin they’re made
where Molly Malone plied her trade.
As hard as sham rock, dry as bone,
a chip off the old Blarney Stone.

Don’t be confused by the name.
A Polo mint is not the same.
This is not a shirt you can wear
or a frozen, Arctic bear.

It’s not named for a famous Venetian
traveller with his camel train.
Princes don’t play this on horseback
nor is it a small German hatchback.

Sadly, Polo lacks that sweet zest
of Ireland at its green and friendly best.
As one is enough, rather than Polo

perhaps this cookie’s title should be Solo.

Biscuit: Jacob's Solo
Taste test: 4 out of 10
Cost: A gift from Ireland - less than a euro.

Monday, 19 May 2014

The Biscuit Poets: This is us

We meet every Tuesday to write our poetry
as creative therapy for our brain injury
biscuits are our topic of choice
each one inspiration for our poetic voice

All our work is lateral thinking
powered by habitual honest tea drinking
we receive biscuits from lands far and wide
- over 100 varieties we've spied and tried

Facebook and Twitter followers are satisfyingly prolific,
like Knackered Mother - to be specific
Our voices have been aired on radio locally
and our poems recited at the Ejector Seat vocally

As you can see we're an eclectic mix
with poetry providing our weekly fix
We're a motley crew of varying ability
always dependent on current mental stability

Verse is the glue that keeps us together
we pen our poems whatever the weather
biscuits are our topic of choice
each one inspiration for our poetic voice

Biscuit: Fox's Ambers
Taste test: 8.5 out of 10
Cost: Not sure, they appeared in our cupboard - biscuit fairy?

Tuesday, 6 May 2014

Under Malted Milk Wood

To begin, at the beginning
is today's poetic starter,
under Malted Milk Wood
Dylan Thomas would
dream of Polly Garter,
under her washing line
suckling her baby at feeding time.

100 years ago Dylan too
was a babe in arms,
throughout his life
he wooed the world
with his poetic charms,
he inspired us to write biscuit poetry
and today we've achieved a creative century.

And we trust
we will still be in your memory,
when we reach our
biscuit bi-centenary,
we will not
go gently into that good night
rather, millenia of biscuits we yearn to bite.

Biscuit: Malted Milk
Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: Under £1 from lovely Lidl in Totton