Waitrose Boss Takes The Biscuit

The boss of Waitrose should be fired, 

As these biscuits leave us uninspired. 

Yet a generous coating of dark chocolate, 

Has made us realise they’re actually great. 

Full of fire and lots of spice, 

The ginger is what makes them nice. 

The crunchy middle is rather snappy,

It puts a smile on our faces and makes us happy. 

We’ve decided the boss can keep his job, 

And we’ll even reward him with a hobnob. 

Biscuits: Dark Chocolate Ginger Biscuits

Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: £1.65 from Waitrose in Lymington

---

Marks out of 10

Marks out of 10...
Paul gave it an 11
he was transported to biscuit heaven

Marks out of 10...
Robin went for an anticipative 9
based on the appearance of the chocolate so fine

Marks out of 10...
Jamie shouted a cricketing 6
due to the texture not to the pitch

Marks out of 10...
Although Karl gave it a 4
Brian chose 12 and wanted lots more

Marks out of 10...
Ollie chose nine
because the taste was sublime

Marks out of 10...
Despite John coming in late
he took one bite and gave it an 8

Marks out of 10...
Jo got angry and quite distraught
Brian ate hers so she gave it a 0 (nought)!

Biscuit: Waitrose Generously coated 9 dark chocolate all butter biscuits

Taste test: Various scores out of 10 (see above)
Cost: £1.29 from Waitrose in Lymington.

If you would like us to write a poem about your favourite biscuits then send us a packet to The Biscuit Poets, Headway Southampton 120 Commercial Road, Totton, Southampton SO40 3AD.

Mikado Chocolate Sparklers

This October half-term, Jo left us a gift.

Mikado, a thin, straight straw of a biscuit.

One we all liked, a cracker and a sparkler,

although for us the chocolate could be darker.

Mikado, we thought the name was Chinese,

and the Chinese invented the gunpowder

that Guy Fawkes laid for a bang far louder.

Soldiers found him, with a match, on his knees.

Judges decided to string him up high.

Now all that remains is the shabby old guy,

ragged and stuffed, an ugly, grinning mask,

slumped by a wall where the children ask

for your money and mine.  Mikado, the name

it turns out, of a European game,

where the highest stick is the Japanese

ruler.  ‘Would you like another one?’  ‘Yes please.’

As for the biscuits, the poem Brian forgot

and if he could he’d have eaten the lot.

Biscuit: Mikado

Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: £1.39 from Waitrose in Romsey

The Valentine Biccy Rhyme

You look so good to me
Oh Waitrose cookie,
Your texture's crumbly
At the same time crunchy,
With the taste of almond
Of which I'm so very fond,
I'm in love with thee
Because you're so nutty,
Ten out of ten
I think I'll buy you again.

Biscuit: Waitrose Almond Cookie
Taste test: 10 out of 10, but then you already know that.

Cost: £1.49 from Waitrose, Lymington.