Sledging their bets and taking the piste

Danger and excitement enflames
The Korean winter Olympic games.

We love the thrill.
We adore the chill.

Although we enjoyed the ice hockey
That they played in Sochi,

Now the climate in Korea
Is causing apprehension and fear.

Cross winds and gales
Knock snowboarders off the rails.

We’re expecting some falls
In the sloping moguls

As the athletes twist and turn
To avoid a friction burn.

The Brits need a gong
But it may take us too long.

The Canadian flag is unfurling
To mark their couple’s win at curling.

There are other events that we could list,
Including breaking your wrist,

And British dismay
In the four man bobsleigh,

Free-style crash landing, falling on ice,
That may not look pretty, although the music is nice,

And sledging in Lycra that seems quite silly.
A fake fur coat would be far less chilly.

Koreans must feel a new sensation
With their sporting unification.

After years of hostile confrontation
They’ve come together as an Olympic nation.

But we expect it still
All to go downhill

Rather than make progress forward
Because in that North Korean cupboard

You will find not just the bobsleigh and the luge
But an array of skeletons that is so huge.

Biscuits: Director's selection of Highland Shortbread

Taste test: 8 out of 10

Cost: £11.10 from Amazon