Fireworks Loop de Loop

Lock up your cats and dogs
and be mindful of hedgehogs
in your bonfire logs,
once again it's that
time of year,
when the fire brigade
are full of fear;
catherine wheels,
bangers, sparklers
and rockets,
don't put fireworks
in your pockets!
Are you going
to a firework party?
Here's some food
to keep you hearty:
sausage on a spit,
mugs of tomato soup,
spuds in foil,
whilst watching fireworks
loop de loop!

PS Olly's safety advice:
Remember fireworks cannot be tamed,
keep at arms length or you will be maimed!

Builders' Biccy Break

We're eating builders' biscuits
We're drinking builders' tea
Everything's expensive
When they add on VAT
These biscuits didn't break our bank
Because we got them free
Katherine kindly gifted this treat
We're eating them with glee

Paul once built some houses
For the gentry in Romsey
Karl created Lego dwellings
Building made him happy
If builders hadn't fixed Mandy's roof
It would still be seriously leaky
Keep the biscuits coming
And they'll work much harder you'll see.

Feed your builders well
Whilst they're working on the job
A custard cream, a jaffa cake or a chocolate hob nob!

Biscuits: Family Circle

Tasting Notes: Short and bready. Thanks Katherine x

Score:  8.5 out of 10

It's all about circles

One footed turtles
always swim in circles,
if you like going round and round
you'll feel sublime
on the Circle line,
in the EU starry circle
you're sure to find Angela Merkel,
if you want to raise objects vertical
contact the Magic Circle,
when in a knitting circle group
careful you don't drop a loop,
everyone's a member of the circle of life
we all have our share of happiness and strife,
were crop circles caused by UFOs
or was it farmers with planks and hoes?
we're a friendship circle within a poetry group
eating biscuits, sharing rhymes and feeling cock-a-hoop!

Biscuits: Family Circle

Tasting Notes: Familiar. Thank you Cami for bringing them in.

Score:  7 out of 10

Terence Aloysious John Rattigan Brown

Terry is a carpenter, restaurateur and ceiling suspender, 

But most of all a jester and word bender, 

For 17 years he’s attended Headway, 

Entertaining us with a new joke every day (well almost), 

An active poet, wordsmith and artist, 

At our Biscuit Poetry sessions he will be sorely missed, 

He’s off to pastures new, 

To meet new friends in his room with a view, 

He might escape to the pub he must confess, 

Yet he doesn’t drink any more or to be fair any less, 

Goodbye Terry from the bottom of our hearts, 

It won’t be the same when we’re apart, 

Thanks for all the laughs! 

Biscuits: Tesco Lebkuchen

Tasting Notes: German and Christmassy

Score:  7 out of 10

Streets where we live

In life there's many streets
often with potholes to massage your feet!
Jo lived on Windy Willow Way
in the good ole USA,
Martyn resided in a homely abode
downtown on Malmesbury road,
Terry spent years in Spain
and also on Ash Hill lane,
Olly's Mehetaled Road traffic did lack
because it was a cul-de-sac,
Brian's been in Woodlands for half a century
and it's kept it's rural landscape and identity,
Paul's been a lifetime in a close called Laburnum
and he comes to Headway without a frown,
at present Mandy dwells in Thurmond Crescent
which keeps her mood effervescent,
Ormsby Drive is where Jegan resides
round the road is where he used to ride,
In Westfield Road Karl spent his youth
the neighbours were friendly - not aloof,
Our favourite place not to be forgotten
is right here in Commercial Road - Totton!

Biscuits: Hovis digestive biscuits
Tasting Notes: Taste like 'travelling the road to home'
Score:  8 out of 10

What Makes Us Nutty

Banana skins under our feet

Too much traffic on the street

Doggy do on our shoe

makes us swear 'til our faces are blue

Illegal parking in disabled bays

Roadworks sending us different ways

Advert breaks on the box

The washing machine eating our socks

People spitting on the floor

Christmas shopping in the store

Using phones at the dinner table

making others feel unstable

Throwing litter on the grass

Bullies - someone kick their ass!

A Mum being specific about her baby's age

A few random things that make us rage!

Biscuits: Nutty Bites
Tasting Notes: Like bird seed
Score:  5 out of 10

Write me a rainbow

Biscuits: Pretzel M&M's - from the USA, thank you Nikki
Tasting Notes: Rainbows
Score:  7 out of 10

Love it or Hate it

Some foodstuffs make our stomachs turn,
the mere thought of them causes concern,
simply their taste, texture or smell,
can result in us feeling quite unwell.

The bitter taste of celery,
 cause some to pull a face,
whilst others love the crispy crunch,
and the need to chew at pace,

The wobble of blancmange bright pink
can cheer or induce the spirits to sink,
whilst liver and bacon on your plate,
can make you smile or seal your fate!

Yet the real 'love it, hate it' food,
that divides the nation's mood,
is the yeasty spread Marmite,
Who's right?
There's only one way to find out - FIGHT!

Biscuits: Marmite Breakfast Biscuits
Tasting Notes: You either love them or hate them!
Score:  10 out of 10 or 1 out of 10.

Farewell Katie

Katie Clements has gone
to do a Masters Degree,
we hope she's be really happy
in Bristol City.

We'll miss her carrot onsie
amazing hats and arty ways,
forgetting her phone, scratching the Nissan
and brightening up our days.

No longer will we watch her
spilling food down her front,
or correcting a certain someone
for being rather blunt.

With her awkward left handed knitting
and crossword decrypting,
we'll miss her greatly
Good luck Katie!

Biscuits: Viennese sandwich fingers
Tasting Notes: Sweet and crunchy!
Score:  8 out of 10

CHEERS!

The usual please
Mine's a pint
Down the hatch
Bottom's up
Terms we use
when we like to sup

Be it at the Royal Oak
The Red Lion
Turfcutter's Arms
or the Woodman
all forest pubs
we like to drink in

A ploughman's lunch
an early brunch
a packet of peanuts
or pork scratchings
full of crunch
pub favourites
we like to munch

Rustic charm
a game of darts
old fusty books
oak beams
pickled eggs in a jar on the bar
log fires and skittle alleys
cattle grids and no kids
the perfect pub......

Biscuits: Extremely chocolatey dark chocolate ginger biscuits
Tasting Notes: chocolatey!
Score:  8.5 out of 10

Tangawizi

Tangawizi the Tom cat
is missing again
his name is Swahili for ginger
the colour of his fur
purr purr

Perhaps he was feline lonely
and set off to Kenya
where it feels more homely
purr purr

Maybe he slunk through
pussport control at Heathrow T4
and me a fellow ginge, Ed Sheeran
who shook him by the paw
purr purr

Prince Harry, Damian Lewis & Geri Halliwell
could be his cabin crew on Ginger 'Air
serving Ginger Beer and Ginger Nuts
to all those with reddish hair
purr purr

We really hope Tangawizi
will fly back home soon
his ginger 'air miles quota will be through the roof
ready for his next holiday to sunny Magaluf
purr purr

Biscuits: Borders Dark Chocolate Gingers
Tasting Notes: Dark and Delicious
Score:  8 out of 10

Think Pink

We're feeling good,
We're in the pink,
Pink champagne we like to drink.
Pink Floyd's our favourite band,
but Mr Blobby we can't stand.
Parker should drive a pink cadillac,
with Lady P sat in the back,
eating pink blancmange with spoons,
whilst watching 1970's Pink Panther cartoons.
Pinky and Perky have high pitched squeals,
pink flamingos scoff krill with their beaks.
Don't you find pink candyfloss gets in your hair,
blending in nicely with the pink rinse there?
Whilst pink Hubba Bubba blows a perfect bubble,
but if it pops on your nose you're in trouble.
Run Race4Life and you'll get a pink face,
raise funds for charity and pick up the pace.
At 3 o'clock everything stops for tea,
with a china cup and a raised pinky,
Pink sunset is a shepherd's delight,
it's time for bed - nighty night.


Biscuits: Pink Panther Wafers
Tasting Notes: All colour, no substance
Score:  6 out of 10

Champion Biker Clad in Lycra

As a boy Geraint Thomas
showed cycling promise,
on Sunday he crossed the line
winning the Tour for the very first time.

Wife Sara
his family flag bearer,
was at the end of the race
waiting to greet him in a tearful embrace.

Gareth Bale and Sam Warburton were his class mates
all three of them now sporting greats,
PE teacher Steve Williams
Got them on target to earn their millions

The Welsh Celtic Nation
is in a state of elation,
Proud of their champion biker
clad forever in  yellow lycra!

Biscuits: Smiley Cookies
Tasting Notes: Crisp and chocolatey - just what you need after a long cycle ride Geraint!
Score:  8 out of 10

Goodbye Alex

Our art therapist is moving on to new pastures
She's going to London to take on a Master's.
She'll leave behind a large blank space,
sadly we know she'll be hard to replace.
Goldsmiths Uni is receiving more gold,
her future before her will quickly unfold.
She's a very bright spark, with
a penchant for art,
She's vibrant, dynamic,
with a very big heart.
She introduced us to Van Gogh's Sunflowers,
Abstract Picasso, Dali's melting hours,
it's never too late for freezing fabrics,
and saving the world by knitting plastics.
She painted our fuel flap with tuk-tuk design,
The work she's done for us is truly sublime.
So thank you to Alex for imparting her knowledge
And we wish her success in her years at art college!

Biscuits: M&S Millionaire's Mini Bites and Rich Butter Flapjacks
Tasting Notes: A parting gift from Alex - delish!
Score:  9.5 out of 10

Talkin' Proper

Speak proper
Like what we do

Purse your lips
Like they're stuck with glue

Pop a plum in  your mouth
To speak like the Queen

But don't spit it out
Because that's obscene

You can speak as a toff
Like Jacob Rees Mogg

Or speak like Paul Gibbons
A blatant Hampshire Hog

Hooray Henrys say 'OK Yah'
Whilst Wurzels from Somerset go OOOOOO-ARRRRRRR

So whether you're a Lord Snooty or a local yokel
Shout loud, stay proud and be vocal.

Biscuits: Marbu Dorado
Tasting Notes: Remind us of Mallorca (The water in Mallorca don't taste like what it oughta)
Score:  9 out of 10

Caved In

A dozen boys and their football coach,
a mystical labyrinth they encroached,
the waters rose at an incredible rate,
trapping them in a terrible fate,
local legend has it that the cavernous hollow,
steals intruders to drown and swallow,
the group retreated into caves five miles deep,
their anxious families could do nothing but weep,
a plea for expertise went across the world,
causing an international rescue to unfurl,
the cynics said there would be no survivors,
but they didn't account for the brave British divers,
water and oxygen were pumped steadily in,
as the boys were trained for their perilous swim,
the subterranean gods claimed one courageous victim,
a Thai navy seal - the whole world mourns him,
eight brave boys are now safe on the surface,
whisked to hospital avoiding the media circus,
we hope and pray the final five,
will too reach the surface and survive.

Biscuits: Jacobs Cornish Wafers
Tasting Notes: Delicious with butter and Wensleydale cheese
Score:  9.5 out of 10

Heat wave

Mercury rising
Tarmac melting
Beachgoers sweltering
Paul's dog panting
Festival folk camping
Wild fires burning
Sausages need turning
Reservoirs emptying
Rail tracks buckling
Ice creams dripping
Swimmers dipping
Cool drinks chilling
Paddling pools filling
Tempers fraying
Hosepipes spraying
Headway sailing
Caravans trailing
Will it continue morn after morn?
Or end in a gigantic electrical storm!?

Biscuits: Petits Fours a l'Orange
Tasting Notes: Ooo la la
Score:  7 out of 10

World Cup: Who's holding the lead?

All chihuahuas are supporting Mexico
they sit on the sidelines yapping "Go go go!",
German schnauzers have had a bit of a fright
but Gott Sei Dank they were alright on the night,
The Iranian Salukis are crying into their Chum
The VAR gave them a pen but they still came undone,
The Argentine skills are a bone of contention
It's a Messi situation that we just had to mention,
We're really hoping Brazil don't Winalot
to book themselves a Final slot
Those Ruski huskies are wagging their tails
they're men of iron - hard as nails
Our English bulldogs showed their pedigree to the fans
let's just hope it's not a flash in the pan!

Biscuits: Walkers Shortbread Scottie Dogs
Tasting Notes: Woof Woof!
Score:  K9 out of 10

Get Our Drift?

Flotsam and Jetsam
drift in titanic proportions,
toxic plastic
polluting our oceans.

Marine life is
slowly being strangled
by a plastic noose,
earth is drifting towards
an ecological disaster.

Corporations and politician
procrastinate
with empty promises,
like hot air balloons
drifting on thermal currents.

It's up to all of us
to wrestle back control
to steady our course from chaos
to change our disposable culture.

Get Our Drift?!

Biscuits: Drifter
Tasting Notes: Chewy and gooey
Score: 7.5 out of 10

May We?

Mother may we?
Yes you may
Hip hip hooray
Today is May Day
Pinch Punch first day of the month
A nip and a kick for being so quick
A poke in the eye for being so sly
A slap round the face - you're a disgrace!
The darling buds of May are running late
they better bloomin' hurry or they'll miss their due date
Yet Youngsters are still prancing around the Maypole
Their joy and colour lifts the soul,
Soon Theresa May's Tories will face their own poll
Will they or won't they find themselves on the dole?!

Biscuits: Mcvities Dark Chocolate Digestives
Tasting Notes: Delish with a capital D
Score: 9/10