Carry On Seeing Double

These double choc digestives
have left us with double vision,
we feel like we've downed a double whiskey
and are waiting for the transition,
into our coffee we've poured double cream
looking so sharp in our double denim.

Setting out on a double decker
to meet our double date,
'Drive on at the double!',
we're in double trouble if we're late
for our mixed doubles tennis match,
double love we hope to catch.

Now nestling in the double bed
Each discard their Double D!
Here beneath the double duvet
we're heading into double jeopardy,
time to revel in double exposure
let's double up and find sweet closure.....

Biscuit: McVitie's Double Chocolate Digestives

Taste test: 8.5 out of 10
Cost: £1 from Tesco in Brockenhurst

The Biscuit Bards

The Biscuit Poets made a flying visit to Shakespeare's Globe this week to seek poetic enlightenment and inspiration.

Upon participating in an energetic workshop  we were encouraged to channel our inner Titania or Oberon - yes, you guessed it,  Midsummer Night's Dream. The highlight was definitely the moment when Gary (in red above) called to Jo (next to him) "Ill met by moonlight proud Titanic" - I'm sure Shakespeare himself would have preferred Titania's new name, very fitting. Wilf and Shan also wowed us with there incredible rendition of Oberon and Titanic's initial meeting - all the world is definitely a stage where they are concerned!

As you can imagine we were too busy to even munch a biscuit, let alone compose verse about one but fear not fair ladies and nasty knaves we will return fresh from our Shakespearean exploits to woo you with our words next week.

Love

The Biscuit Bards x

Terza Rima Biscotti

This poem is written in Terz Rima - a 3 line stanza form, borrowed from the Italian Poets (e.g.Dante). For those of you who want to have a go, the rhyming scheme is aba, bcb, cdc, ded etc.

Mattina gli amanti biscotto (Good morning biscuit lovers),
Try this almondy biscuit dunked in coffee,
'Suck it and see' is our motto.

We hope you like our verse so lofty,
Enigmatic like the Mona Lisa's smile,
As she chews on her italian biscuit not so soft, si?*

Italy is famous for its style and fashion;
Gucci, Valentino, Versace and Prada,
They use clothes to expresso their passion.

Fast cars fuel the signorina's ardour.

Ferrari, Lamborghini, what could be hotter,

while their macho menfolk, and this biscuit, just grow harder.

*She didn't bank on the almonds within, and ended up with a toothless grin.


Biscuit: Arden & Amici Almond and Chocolate Chunk Biscotti

Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: £2.49 from Waitrose in Lymington

Twix star-crossed lovers

Today's creative writing session was centred around Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream. During our break we munched on half a Twix each and decided to dig deep and release our inner bards. The resulting poem is definitely a work in progress - it was a tricky task after all! 

If you would like to contribute a line please do, just comment, tweet, or message us on Facebook.

The difference twix day and night;
one is dark the other bright,

like the enduring love twix Helena and Demetrius
cunningly coerced by her Father, Egeus,

or Queen Titania in slumber on grass
awakening to feel love twix her and an acting ass,

whilst the four star crossed lovers stumbled twix fog and mist
Yearning for the course of true love to end in a kiss,

latterly the forest fairies pranced and sang their song
as Puck tried to undo his confusion twix right and wrong.

If you fail to understand our poetic theme,
take heed, it's based on Midsummer Night's Dream.


Biscuit: Twix biscuit fingers (4 x 50g)

Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost:  £1 from Tesco in Brockenhurst

Lost (thirty two random words in search of a poem)

Each poet contributed two words in return for a biscuit and then we tried to make some sort of poem from them.  As you will see, it proved tricky.

Lorna was one of our dedicated and much-valued volunteers.

Last week we lost lovely Lorna

Who returned to Devon,

At least for a while,

But left this crunchy taste of heaven.

Last week too Jose Mourinho,

Lost his special wolfish smile

And now looks like an anorexic hippo.

Last week too neither West Ham

Nor our very own Southam-

-pton lost their even match.

Neither Lambert nor Noble

Proved the least bit able

To score a goal from scratch.

We are at a loss how to include

Such words as ignition, prelude

And anti-disestablishmentarianism.

Thank you, Jamie, for such exhibitionism.

Anita too is love-lorn and lost,

With Backstreet Boys star-crossed,

AlthoughTerry doesn’t give a toss.

The Intercity Firm belong among the lost

Now Sam Allardyce is their boss,

And Jon and Olly also are quite cross.

As poets we are altogether at a loss

How to mend and end this verse

So what if we arrange a return

For one muddy hippopotamus,

Brown and ready for the circus,

Or maybe we should just crash and burn.

But now it’s really time to cease

And for this restless poem to rest in peace.

So thank you, Lorna, for choosing to donate

This marvellous, honeycomb chocolate.

Biscuit: Cadbury's Crunchie Biscuit

Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost:  Parting gift from Lovely Lorna

Hello Panda?

It's not black and white
that a panda cub will make
history in Scotland this week,
Tian Tian's hormone levels are at a peak
as are our hopes - we're awaiting a tweet.

The panda-cam shows Yang Guang
pacing like an expectant father
agitated and mad
that he's not yet a proud dad.

Giant Panda's are on the brink
of being extinct
less than 2000 remain in the wild we think.
This explains Edinburgh's obsession
with panda gestation
a mammalian craze
that has swept the scottish nation.

So is she or isn't she?
Brian thinks not
but the rest of us poets
are an optimistic lot
(apart from Olly who thinks it's folly).

We predict a riot
shortly at Edinburgh zoo
a baby panda will be born
time to stock up on bamboo!

Biscuit: Hello Panda

Taste test: 6 out of 10
Cost: 4.60 RM, Kota Kinabalu airport in Borneo.

Let's Be Syria-ous

President Assad

will be glad

that the UN won't intervene

in Syria's chaotic scene

'cos Vladimir Putin

has been disputin'

and put the boot in

First he wants the weapon inspectors

to detect the

chemical threat

it was decided when Kerry and Putin met

But unlike our biscuit

the Syrian people can't breakaway

many wanted air strikes

to end their plight

so they could put down their arms

and not have to fight

Now they're left

waiting, anticipating

contemplating their fate,

even more drawn into war

and WHAT FOR?

Biscuit: Breakaway

Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: £1 from Tesco in Brockenhurst