What is beauty?

Butterflies all of a flutter
Melted butter on a crumpet
The smell of burning rubber*
Flickering embers of a bonfire
Folding back the covers of a freshly made bed
The warmth and scent of a just baked loaf
The clink of an ice cube in a single malt
Crunch of footsteps in new fallen snow
The twang of Jimmy Hendrix's guitar
Cheek to cheek with Brian the ballroom master
The velvety feel of a plush theatre seat
The late Lou Reed singing Sweet Jane

Beauty is in the ear, nose and throat of the beholder,
Our perceptions alter as we grow older,
Beauty is a personal point of view,
What you admire is up to you.......

*Karl's choice!

Biscuit: Hobnobs Choc Chip

Taste test:7 out of 10
Cost: £1.00 from Asda in Totton

Oh Christmas Tree

X

Marks

A special

Spot where the

Tall tree's starry fairy

Rests on the pointy pinnacle

Expecting

Emmanuel

Biscuit: Forest Fruit and Raisin Slices

Taste test: 2 out of 10 - we certainly won't be pining for them!
Cost: £1.10 from Asda in Totton

Rocky

He's the last known survivor
boxes to the beat of the Eye of the Tiger
doggedly dodging and weaving
in the American dream he's forever believing

A pugilist,
annihilating opponents with his fist
the towel won't get thrown in
he'll get back up and fight to win

He's a biscuit munching boxing machine
chomps on caramel, sometimes cream
sneaks a 'Sly' nibble in between bouts
ding ding seconds out

The one and only Stallone, stood alone
victorious on his own
never gives up hope
even when slumped on the ropes

The knockout king
of the canvas ring
always ready to risk it
especially for a Rocky biscuit

Biscuit: Rocky (we tried caramel and molten caramel - both good but molten best)

Taste test: 7 out of 10
Cost: £1 from Asda in Southampton

Gooeys

Maryland Gooeys get thumbs up today

From the biscuits poets at Headway

Their chocolate centres are a delight

The perfect taste in every bite

Eclectic things have a connection

With this delicious cookie confection

A bus station in Bow (for those in the know)

An American state where they did create

Great biscuits that truly satiate

There is biscuit beauty in these packs

Unlike Maryland's dire Snapjacks

Although we have April showers today

Soon we’ll be gathering nuts in May

The gooeyness, the chewyness

Lead to euphoric ooooohyness!

Our taste buds have been tantilised

Our senses are in overdrive

Biscuit: Maryland Gooeys

Taste test: 9.5 out of 10
Cost: £1 from Asda in Southampton - thanks Olly

Jack and the Biscuit Stalk

Off to the market Jack shall go

With his highland cow in tow

But Jack was too late

The market, he missed it

All he could trade Daisy for

Was Snapjack Biscuits

Home he went, feeling quite content

But his old ma she didn't relent

She threw the Snapjacks
 out into the wood

‘We don’t want these,
 they aren't any good’

The very next morning to Jack's surprise

Stood a biscuit stalk that reached the skies

Jack started to climb towards the top

To find the golden honeycomb crop

Maryland was his destination

There he’d find the golden biscuit creation

Jack ambled anxiously along the street

Fearing a giant that he might meet

Walking down that crumbly road

Jack felt the burden of his heavy load

A giant choc chip cookie man blocked his path

Jack so shocked, started to laugh

Then he jumped up quick and chomped his hand

Poor ginormous cookie man looked far less grand

'He tastes so scrumptious in my tum'

thought Jack as he gulped him down in one.

'Who wants Snapjacks from Maryland anyway?

I’d rather have their choc chip cookies any day!'

The morale of the story? Here's the facts 

These awful Snapjacks should be axed

Maryland your choc chip cookies are top notch

Focus on them, not this honeycomb hotch-potch!

Biscuit: Maryland Honeycomb Snapjacks

Taste test: 4 out of 10
Cost:  £1 from Asda in Totton

Dodging the Issue

Tacky with a texture like glue

The memories come flooding through,

You remind me of my youth

When I acted so uncouth

Running around

the playground

With just one tooth,

That's all you left me

Biscuit oh so jammy.

Biscuit: Jammie Dodger

Taste test: 4 out of 10

Cost: £1.15 from Asda in Totton