Shakespeare's Biscuit

This poem was written by Kristina Turner for the poetry battle at our Evening of Biscuit Poetry - we hope you like it as much as we do.

Eyes meet across a crowded room
Two star crossed lovers lock their gaze
She, sweet, delicate, not yet fourteen
Destined young to be his mortal foe
She unknowingly invites him in
Opens her hot, sweet embrace
To his firm, dark substance
He delves into her hot, strong depths
Surrenders willingly to her sweet sorrow
She cannot be
other than a mug of tea
And he, no other than a melting treat.
Oreo, oh Oreo!
Wherefore art thou Oreo!?

Biscuit: Oreo Cookies

Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost:  99p from Tesco in Brockenhurst

Recipe for a Rocky Road

First take a roller to flatten the earth
Add a porous membrane
so the weeds won't grow again
Then tip on rough aggregate for what it's worth

Fill the gaps with fine stone just like that
Next roll it and roll it 'til it's nice and flat
Pour on silken sand and level it out
roll again to make it strong, sturdy and stout

For good measure add another membrane
Spread on hot tarmac and roll it again
Oh and add some rocky chips
to make sure it binds and grips

Make sure you leave to harden for a while
before you take time to consume your golden mile



Biscuit: Kellogg's Rice Krispies Rocky Road Squares

Taste test: 6.8 out of 10
Cost: £1.99 from Tesco in Brockenhurst