Go set a clock

Should unpublished books
be left to rest unread?
Better not to disturb the dead?
Leave sequels to our imaginations,
don't disappoint our great expectations.

Shield us from the mental struggle
of accepting Potter's transformation to muggle.
Harry Potter at the Chamber of Commerce
would spell a literary turn for the worse.

Who'd want to read about
Lady Chatterley's mother
or George Orwell's little brother
James Herbert's gerbils wouldn't scare
and nobody cares for Euston Bear!

Biscuit:  Tim Tams
Taste test: 7.7 out of 10
Cost: Gift from Denis

Artful Dodgers

What the Dickens shall we write about today?

The biscuits we are eating, we heard Oliver say.

Our friend Charles is a writer with some sway.

He came from Portsmouth, way down south,

Where he lived as a child in his Bleak House,

Said Jegan with a dodger in his mouth.

He wrote his Tale of Two Cities,

But not of bitter ancient dockyard rivalry

Between Southampton and Pompey.

We had Great Expectations of this snack

Which came in two flavours in a cellophane pack.

We know we’ve started to veer off track,

So now we’ll take you back again,

Back to where the poem should begin

With Bill Sykes, Nancy and that rogue, Fagin.

Biscuit: Burtons Choccie Dodgers & Toffee Dodgers

Taste test: 7.5 out of 10
Cost: £1.15 from Tesco in New Milton