Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Flapjack Jon

Unflappable Jon T
baked us some flapjacks
to inspire poetry.
He's tall and calm,
walks with a stick,
oozes kindness
but what makes him tick?
He's an enigma,
hard to define -
whilst his chocolate covered flapjacks
taste divine!
A picture of happiness
with inner charm,
a swooping eagle soars on his arm.
His canine friend Alfie
keeps him active and healthy,
for him it's claret and blue,
a Hammers fan
through and through!
Our Jon's forever young -
his football team
of grandchildren
promise him a lifetime of fun.

Biscuit:  Jon T's Flapjacks
Taste test: 9.9999 out of 10
Cost: Handmade by Jon T

Tuesday, 18 August 2015


Short and plain and round,
From Lidl and hardly more than a pound,
These biscuits claim to be a classic
But seem actually quite basic.

Eat too many and you’ll end up a fatty,
Not svelte like the chassis
Of a slim-line Bugatti
Or those other Italian sports car classics.

Nor slender like Margot Fonteyn,
Pirouetting round again and again,
Her audience deep in a trance
As she performs her classic Russian dance.

On his round, Aristotle
Drank one too many a bottle,
And Plato downed a short
As they discussed their classic thought.

Homer and Virgil chomp their lunchtime sandwiches
And chew on the complexity of classic languages
While we strain and struggle to rhyme
Asking, ‘Will our poems stand the test of time?’

We may wonder what their fate is.

Probably, we guess, not quite classic status. 

Biscuit:  Classic Shortbread Rounds
Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: From Lidl in Totton, hardly more than a pound!