Tuesday, 22 May 2012

A Nailbiting, Finger Lickin' Tale

When I put the finger in my mouth to bite,
I purposefully give the children a fright.
Their young faces, they turn pale,
When I start to crunch into the nail.
The unsettling snap of teeth on bone,
Makes them jump like the ring of a phone.
As I'm chewing on the digit,
The unnerving sound makes the kiddiewinks fidget.
They say "Daddy we won't sleep tonight,
we're frightened, we witnessed an awful sight."
I tell them all -  "Don't be daft,
They're just chocolate fingers made by Kraft."

PS: As a postscript I should disclose, don't use these fingers to pick your nose.

Biscuit: Cadbury Fingers
Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: £1.00 from Tesco in Lymington

Thursday, 17 May 2012

The light, the dark and the plain

You may find milk chocolate digestives
so crunchy and crumbly and such a treat,
but to me their taste simply gives
a sense of excess. They are just too sweet.

But by contrast, I shall always desire
the more subtle plain chocolate digestive,
its dark and bitter and velvet attire,
its demeanour so suave and suggestive.

Biscuit: McVities Milk Chocolate Digestive
Taste test: 7.5 out of 10
Cost: £1.05 from Asda in Totton

Friday, 11 May 2012

Custard Cream Limerick

There was a young girl from Peru,
Who was asked to a fancy dress do,
She fulfilled her dream,
To be a custard cream,
But her date found her too sickly to woo.

Biscuit: Crawford's Custard Cream
Taste test: 7out of 10
Cost: 75p from Asda in Eastleigh

Thursday, 3 May 2012

Bourbon's the winner

On your marks.......
It's break time
Our stomachs are rumbling,
The anticipation of biscuits crumbling,
Be quick to stop us runners from grumbling.

Get set.........
It's snack time
Peel the finishing tape off the tin,
Cellophane unwrapped to get within,
The chocolatey bourbon is the prize to win.

It's race time
The starting gun goes crack,
Lips begin to smack,
There is no holding back.

The finishing line's in sight,
So many biscuits to bite,
Yet the bourbon's our shining light,
The biscuit lover's true delight.

Biscuit: Bourbon
Taste test: 7.5 out of 10
Cost: 85p from Asda in Totton