Tuesday, 30 October 2018

Hammond's Sweetners

Budget, fudge it,
The Chancellor of the Exchequer
thinks he can make things better,
by offering sweetners
to us poor austere creatures.
More money for every school,
who is he trying to fool?
Extra cash for Universal Credit
could push the economy further into debit.
It's Hammond's goal
to fill the country's pot holes,
but it is affordable
and fiscally feasible?
Hammond is a financial Ali Bongo
using sleight of hand to spin
and strengthen our Brexit position.

Biscuits: Jammie Dodgers
Tasting Notes: Sooooo sweet
Score:  6 out of 10

Tuesday, 16 October 2018

Write me a rainbow

Biscuits: Pretzel M&M's - from the USA, thank you Nikki
Tasting Notes: Rainbows
Score:  7 out of 10

Tuesday, 9 October 2018

Planetary Insanity

We are the needy greedy
instant gratification generation
without much thought or contemplation
about the impact of our civilisation
on nature's beautiful creation

Our white goods have built in obsolescence
further evidence of our foolhardy decadence
fast fashion is destroying our eco-system
teens wear outfits once and then dismiss them

The invention of PVC was deemed fantastic
100 years later we are rueing the day
we're surrounded by a surplus of plastic
suffocated by mastic
that will take thousands of years to decay

Since the start of the industrial revolution
mankind took a wrong turn in our evolution
before we make all our species extinct
let's come together for a global rethink

Biscuits: Kallo Apple and Cinnamon corn and rice cakes
Tasting Notes: Plastic!
Score:  2 out of 10

Thursday, 4 October 2018

Ode to Fred

A poem for National Poetry Day 2018
Ode to Fred

Our friend Fred fell from his fifty foot yacht, 
Could he swim? 
Not a lot. 
He was met with a wet wall of silence, 
Onlookers gasped, the atmosphere intense. 

His body failed to reappear, 
Poor Fred had imbibed too much beer. 
His hangover will last for eternity 
Wife, Carol, wailed ‘he could have switched to tea!’ 

Last week we buried Fred, 
We had to ‘cos he was dead, 
Atoms to atoms, 
Dust to dust, 
Fred’s now returned to the earth’s crust. 

To all good people who sail in ships, 
It pays you to switch to PG Tips!