Friday, 29 June 2012

Ginger Hard Nut Rap

Ginger Nut respect to you
Struttin' wid me gang and crew
You're spicy tang comes tricklin’ thru
You is hard but not as hard as me
And you'll go soft as I dip you in my tea

East-side, West-side whatever neighbourhood
You're so sic coz you taste so good
Man you're fam an' you raise my mood
You is phat but not in size
I is a hard nut, look into my eyes

Biscuit: Ginger Nuts
Taste test: 8.5 out of 10
Cost: 60p from Waitrose, Lymington

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Jaffa Cake or Biscuit?

It's easy to make the mistake
of thinking that this is a cake,
for years it has been debated
ever since this biscuit/cake was created.

The Jaffa's appearance will mislead
all those so keen to feed.

It's a schizoid snack
that takes us aback,
in two minds about its status
it causes a taste hiatus.

Dark chocolate leaves us reeling
whilst the orange centre is most a-peeling.

We're glad it has no VAT
and almost zero fat,
the court ruled it's a cake
but we still think it's a biscuit fake.

Biscuit: Jaffa Cake (Biscuit) 
Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: £1.19 from Asda, Totton.

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

RIP Thin Arrowroot Biscuit

We finally laid the arrowroot biscuit to rest
after we gave it the taste test,
during Queen Victoria's reign it was used,
no wonder she never look amused.
Once a staple food of the Empire,
anyone who says it's good is a liar!

Arrowroot is so very versatile,
it can be used as talc on a little child,
it was favoured in colonial times
because it grew so well in our tropical climes.
Also known as the obedience herb,
wanton appetites it did kerb.

With modern ingredients this biscuit could be rearranged,
yet sadly since the 1800's it hasn't changed.
This poem may seem insipid, dull and dry,
if you taste the biscuit you'll soon know why.
There's really nothing more to say
except in rest may this biscuit forever lay.

Biscuit: Crawford's Thin Arrowroot
Taste test: 2 out of 10
Cost: £1.49 from Waitrose in Lymington