Tuesday, 31 July 2018

Champion Biker Clad in Lycra

As a boy Geraint Thomas
showed cycling promise,
on Sunday he crossed the line
winning the Tour for the very first time.

Wife Sara
his family flag bearer,
was at the end of the race
waiting to greet him in a tearful embrace.

Gareth Bale and Sam Warburton were his class mates
all three of them now sporting greats,
PE teacher Steve Williams
Got them on target to earn their millions

The Welsh Celtic Nation
is in a state of elation,
Proud of their champion biker
clad forever in  yellow lycra!

Biscuits: Smiley Cookies
Tasting Notes: Crisp and chocolatey - just what you need after a long cycle ride Geraint!
Score:  8 out of 10

Tuesday, 24 July 2018

Goodbye Alex

Our art therapist is moving on to new pastures
She's going to London to take on a Master's.
She'll leave behind a large blank space,
sadly we know she'll be hard to replace.
Goldsmiths Uni is receiving more gold,
her future before her will quickly unfold.
She's a very bright spark, with
a penchant for art,
She's vibrant, dynamic,
with a very big heart.
She introduced us to Van Gogh's Sunflowers,
Abstract Picasso, Dali's melting hours,
it's never too late for freezing fabrics,
and saving the world by knitting plastics.
She painted our fuel flap with tuk-tuk design,
The work she's done for us is truly sublime.
So thank you to Alex for imparting her knowledge
And we wish her success in her years at art college!

Biscuits: M&S Millionaire's Mini Bites and Rich Butter Flapjacks
Tasting Notes: A parting gift from Alex - delish!
Score:  9.5 out of 10

Tuesday, 17 July 2018

Talkin' Proper

Speak proper
Like what we do

Purse your lips
Like they're stuck with glue

Pop a plum in  your mouth
To speak like the Queen

But don't spit it out
Because that's obscene

You can speak as a toff
Like Jacob Rees Mogg

Or speak like Paul Gibbons
A blatant Hampshire Hog

Hooray Henrys say 'OK Yah'
Whilst Wurzels from Somerset go OOOOOO-ARRRRRRR

So whether you're a Lord Snooty or a local yokel
Shout loud, stay proud and be vocal.

Biscuits: Marbu Dorado
Tasting Notes: Remind us of Mallorca (The water in Mallorca don't taste like what it oughta)
Score:  9 out of 10

Tuesday, 10 July 2018

Caved In

A dozen boys and their football coach,
a mystical labyrinth they encroached,
the waters rose at an incredible rate,
trapping them in a terrible fate,
local legend has it that the cavernous hollow,
steals intruders to drown and swallow,
the group retreated into caves five miles deep,
their anxious families could do nothing but weep,
a plea for expertise went across the world,
causing an international rescue to unfurl,
the cynics said there would be no survivors,
but they didn't account for the brave British divers,
water and oxygen were pumped steadily in,
as the boys were trained for their perilous swim,
the subterranean gods claimed one courageous victim,
a Thai navy seal - the whole world mourns him,
eight brave boys are now safe on the surface,
whisked to hospital avoiding the media circus,
we hope and pray the final five,
will too reach the surface and survive.

Biscuits: Jacobs Cornish Wafers
Tasting Notes: Delicious with butter and Wensleydale cheese
Score:  9.5 out of 10

Tuesday, 3 July 2018

Heat wave

Mercury rising
Tarmac melting
Beachgoers sweltering
Paul's dog panting
Festival folk camping
Wild fires burning
Sausages need turning
Reservoirs emptying
Rail tracks buckling
Ice creams dripping
Swimmers dipping
Cool drinks chilling
Paddling pools filling
Tempers fraying
Hosepipes spraying
Headway sailing
Caravans trailing
Will it continue morn after morn?
Or end in a gigantic electrical storm!?

Biscuits: Petits Fours a l'Orange
Tasting Notes: Ooo la la
Score:  7 out of 10