Tuesday, 11 October 2016

#ThumpTrump (metaphorically, of course!)

We've got the hump -
Donald Trump,
the runt,
the grump,
the lumpy chump,
will lead the world
into an almighty slump.
Thankfully his campaign
has encountered a bump
no doubt he'll end up
in the municipal dump
with his roadkill hair
in a ridiculous clump
and rotten food cladding
his plump rump.
He's a joke.

*metaphorically of course

PS Have you noticed how many negative words rhyme with Trump?

Biscuit: Belvita Breakfast Tops
Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: £2.79 from Waitrose in Lymington

Tuesday, 4 October 2016

We're Rootin' and Tootin'

Howdy pardner!
Get awf your hoss
And take a bite of this rootin’, tootin’ chocolate bar.

It’s called a Canyon.
It’s chunky, it’s rugged.
Cacti stand proud in the Wild West landscape of its wrapper.

It promises cowboy adventure and all the glamour of the cowboy life.
But it’s a fiddle.
Cos it comes from Lidl. 
This poem was submitted by a guest writer. If you fancy writing your own biscuit poem then have a go and send it to us through our website: www.headway-southampton.org.uk

Biscuit: Canyon Bar
Taste test: 8.3 out of 10
Cost: A gift from Lidl - thanks Miles!