Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Oh Christmas Tree

A special
Spot where the
Tall tree's starry fairy
Rests on the pointy pinnacle

Biscuit: Forest Fruit and Raisin Slices
Taste test: 2 out of 10 - we certainly won't be pining for them!
Cost: £1.10 from Asda in Totton

Tuesday, 10 December 2013

A Christmas Caramel - Scrooge's recipe for festive fun

One: needles falling from a pine tree.

Two turkey twizzlers.

Three rain-drenched dreary reindeer.

Four ridiculous round robins.

Five broken bulbs.

Six slushy, stifling soaps.

Seven solid, Stollen slices.

Eight egregious elves.

Nine noxious noggins.

Ten tedious, time-wasting films.

Eleventh-hour Christmas Eve shopping.

Twelve o’clock, New Year’s Eve,
Alone and nowhere to go.

Happy Humbug.

Biscuit: Fox's Chocolatey Caramels
Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost:  Gift from Olly, he couldn't resist them.

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Belgian Banter

This week's biscuits are from Belgium
by their awesomeness we were struck dumb
the effect of them was quite narcotic
they left us feeling comfortably numb

Belgium, the land of chocolatiers
Tin Tin and Stella Artois beers
As a land it may not carry much clout
but we thank them gladly for brussel sprouts

Jean Claude Van Damme is their meaty main man
the muscles from Brussels with the glowing tan
Famous flemish females are few and far between
with, of course, the exception of Mathilde their noble queen
Anita's just had a post biscuit epiphany
of course there's always Audrey from Breakfast at Tiffany's

We'll end this ditty with the demise of Hercule Poirot
the famous Belgian detective hero
just like us, he had to go.

Biscuit: Benim'O and Tutku 
Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: Free, a gift from our mate Richard