Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Are Nice biscuits Nice?

Et voila, a poetic piece
about a biscuit called Nice,
some poor folk call it Nice,
they really must take our advice...

Said snack was first made in France
so please give the pronunciation a chance,
its origins to 1904 we can trace
and Nice is set in a sans serif typeface.

The discussion remains open wide,
as to the way the class divide,
determines how you articulate,
the name of the biscuit on the plate.

If you're born with a silver spoon,
it appears you say Nice,
like peace.
Whilst if you dance to a peasant's tune,
your favoured choice is Nice,
like mice.

Which one are you?

Biscuit: Nice
Taste test: 6 out of 10 (delicate coconutty taste)
Cost: 50p from Tesco

Friday, 20 April 2012

Norwegian Ballerina

I once had a girl,
A Norwegian ballerina,
With a sweet and creamy demeanour.
My tastebuds had such fun,
As she danced upon my tongue.

I once had a girl,
A viking enchantress,
She was a scandinavian temptress.
Her pirouettes and twirls,
Were mirrored in her biscuit swirls.

I once had a girl,
My love she sought to foster.
But beneath her nordic disguise,
Alas I came to despise,
The dodgy jammie imposter.

So I drowned my sorrows with lager,
To end this norse biscuit saga.

Biscuit: Ballerina
Taste test: 5.5 out of 10
Cost: 30 Krone from Norway (thanks to Richard for buying them for us on his business trip x)

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Oh Lemon Puff

Oh lemon puff, oh lemon puff,
Of you I just can’t get enough,
Your tantalising citrus taste
Will put on inches around my waist!

To me you seem an errant knave,
I just can’t get you to behave,
Your crumbliness beyond compare,
You seem to get just everywhere.

As a biscuit you are quite absurd,
More like a cracker with lemon curd,
I feel this state of symbiosis could,
Cause confusion and neurosis.

Oh lemon puff, oh lemon puff,
I wish I were made of sterner stuff,
That way I could resist your charm,
My racing heart return to calm.

Biscuit: Jacob's Lemon Puff
Taste test: 7 out of 10
Cost: £1.69 from Sainsbury's in Christchurch