Electoral Spin

Shhhhhhhhh
there's a rumour going round
that Cameron's stepping down
not immediately you see
but after a second term
when we may get May
if she wins the fight
or Osbourne might
or enter Boris
 on his bike

Are we to believe him
or is it just electoral spin
after all the Lady who was not for turning
did a U-turn
will David also break his promise
and slither toadily
 a third time
back into office

Perhaps it's a case of
trouble & strife
from SamCam his wife
twisting the knife
into his political life
so they no longer have to rush
- more time to play Candy Crush

Biscuit: Cadbury Wisp

Taste test: 9.5 out of 10
Cost: 98p in Asda in Southampton (thanks Olly)

What's in a nick name?

Timbo, Nutty, Gibbo and Spud
childhood nicknames - not one a dud,
Monikers fashioned from family names
often cruel and designed to shame.

Rhino, Caterpillar, Irongut and Bee
terms of endearment we're sure you'll agree,
Whereas Bogie Nose, Coconut and Wally
coined to poke fun, particularly at Olly.

Names that transport us back to the playground
where thoughts were simple and silly not deep and profound,
Crisp, Jester, Octopus and Mess
some still raise a smile, we have to confess.

Biscuit: Tunnock's Caramel Log

Taste test: 9.999 out of 10
Cost: £1.00 from Waitrose in Lymington

What do you think about pink?

Is pink a feminine colour?
It depends on your point of view.
Are men afraid of pink?
Do girls stay away from blue?

Boys should be proud to wear pink
it's no longer the stereotype that you think.
Gone are the days of rose tinted prescription
specs from the NHS,
worn by a girl in gingham
playing hopscotch in her dress.

Pink's a colour of change and optimism
a symbol for hope not a badge of sexism,
you can wear it with pride
as you march through the street,
and in the Race for Life
when you pound your feet.

Whether you're in the pink,
tickled pink, or pretty in pink
it doesn't matter what others think
you'll be coming up roses
be powerful in pink
and strike dynamic poses.

Biscuit: Tesco Finest All Butter Rose Biscuits For Tea

Taste test: 8.5 out of 10
Cost: £1.99 at Tesco in New Milton

School Days School Dinners

School days, school dinners
punishing children as if they were sinners.
Do you remember back in the day
when the lunch bell used to ring
oh the moans it signalled in
did spotted dick make you sick
or frog spawn tapioca choke ya?

Oliver was always asked if he wanted more
but declined cos it made his tummy sore
The pink custard so thick and gloopy
the smell of it would drive you loopy
semolina like wallpaper paste
would clear the dinner hall post-haste.

The watery cabbage, overcooked meat 

and lumpy gravy

wasn't very appealing to you or me

spam fritters

a.k.a. specially processed American meat

would cause even the hardiest eaters

to beat a retreat.

School days, school dinners

punishing children as if they were sinners

so many sinners

and they all had to wait

in rotation

to get the slop on their plate!

Biscuit: Mcvities Strawberry Cheesecake (smell like school puddings!)

Taste test: 3 out of 10
Cost: 2 for £2 at Sainsbury's in Christchurch