A Poem that may drag on

Perhaps dragons derive from dinosaurs

rather than from mother-in-laws.

Although both are grim and fire-breathing,

there’s only one you can believe in.

Dragons are the villains of ancient fairy tales

and also the emblem of the flag of Wales.

Dragons spend their leisure

dwelling in a cave

filled with treasure,

saving energy for a weekend monster rave,

finding their pleasure

devising ways to misbehave.

Once, high overhead they flew

until along came St George and slew

the most fearsome but the last.

And now, alas, they live only in the past.

Biscuit:  Dibus Dragon Biscuits
Taste test: 8 out of 10

Cost: 99p from the 99p store

Have I got old news for you

Does old news simply go away
because it's not front page today?

Has everyone with Ebola recovered
or are there thousands more cases
 to be discovered?
Is Kathmandu recovering with slow trepidation
or are aftershocks still traumatising the nation?
Are migrants homeward bound on sturdy ships
or are they still making their one way death trips?

Is it the media who are obsessed with new
or is it that we don't want to be retold
the old?
Who knows?

Biscuit:  Cadbury's Caramel Biscuit
Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: Gift from Paul

The Biscuit With No Name

Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
No, it's the biscuit with no name,
Nameless yet delicious,
Though the lack of label
makes us suspicious.

What is baker Fiona trying to hide?
We hope there's nothing unsavoury inside.
It's a biscuit baked with anonymity
can we trust it's edibility?
(is it safe to dip in tea?).

Convention demands nomination
of this nutty, naughty, chocolate creation.
A magic moment biscuit fit for Perry Como
deserved of a cooked up name,
 INCHOCNITO!

Biscuit:  Biscuit With No Name
Taste test: 10 out of 10
Cost: Homemade chocolate and nut biscuits from Fiona

Bookings please!

A simply joyous gig at Irwin Mitchell last night.
Shan shone, Jegan joked, Terry terrorised the audience with gags a plenty, Karl cleverly adopted accents from across the globe, Denis dazzled with his extreme articulation, Lee loved the audience and very nearly broke into song, Olly overwhelmed with his biscuit bard rapping and Vicky was velvety, voluminous and voluptuous.

The Biscuit Poets are now ready for anything, if you need some inspirational entertainment for a corporate event, team building day, inspirational seminar or even a bar mitzvah then hire us, you will be surprised, inspired and will certainly laugh a lot.

National Biscuit Day

On the 29th of May
in Ireland and the UK
it was National Biscuit Day.

We savour and adore
these biscuits
handmade in Lismore
the town where Fred Astaire
danced in the square
with sister Adele
down the cobbled thoroughfare

What a perfect way
to celebrate National Biscuit Day
a choreographic display
of dark chocolate and cardamom
but where's Ginger?

Biscuit:  Dark Chocolate and Cardamom
Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: Not sure but they tasted expensive!