The New Forest was made in honour
As a hunting ground for William the Conqueror
To shoot deer amongst the trees
Of which there are so many varieties.
Our Bill was a Gallic or garlic bloke
And built his invasion ships from mighty oak.
He gave the English army such a bash,
With an arrow in the eye for Harold made of ash.
At the Balmer Lawn they say ‘Owzat’
As they play cricket with a willow bat.
When the Forest weather is fine
You can stroll through avenues of pine.
And in springtime you can see
Pale pink blossom on the cherry tree.
In summer heat you can rest in shade
Of a rare elm or dark beech glade.
Autumn brings the crab apple glut,
Hazels and the fire-roasted chestnut.
It sows the spinning seeds of sycamore
And lets loose the woodsman with his chainsaw.
When there’s frost on the ground the foresters produce
Abundant quantities of Norway spruce.
Christmas is the proverbial season to be jolly
So try your pudding with a sprig of holly.
Among the names we have neglected to use
Are the redwood, cypress, fir and Serbian spruce,
The larch and alder, birch and elder and other species
Because it’s so hard to 'cedar wood for the trees'.
We wanted to include this olive biscuit
But decided not to risk it.
It is made with onion and cheese,
Which coincidentally rhymes with ‘trees’.
Biscuit: Grissini Cipolle or Italian Bread Sticks,
gathered from Italian Bread Trees.
Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: A gift from the Bread Tree
