CHEERS!

The usual please
Mine's a pint
Down the hatch
Bottom's up
Terms we use
when we like to sup

Be it at the Royal Oak
The Red Lion
Turfcutter's Arms
or the Woodman
all forest pubs
we like to drink in

A ploughman's lunch
an early brunch
a packet of peanuts
or pork scratchings
full of crunch
pub favourites
we like to munch

Rustic charm
a game of darts
old fusty books
oak beams
pickled eggs in a jar on the bar
log fires and skittle alleys
cattle grids and no kids
the perfect pub......

Biscuits: Extremely chocolatey dark chocolate ginger biscuits
Tasting Notes: chocolatey!
Score:  8.5 out of 10

Tangawizi

Tangawizi the Tom cat
is missing again
his name is Swahili for ginger
the colour of his fur
purr purr

Perhaps he was feline lonely
and set off to Kenya
where it feels more homely
purr purr

Maybe he slunk through
pussport control at Heathrow T4
and me a fellow ginge, Ed Sheeran
who shook him by the paw
purr purr

Prince Harry, Damian Lewis & Geri Halliwell
could be his cabin crew on Ginger 'Air
serving Ginger Beer and Ginger Nuts
to all those with reddish hair
purr purr

We really hope Tangawizi
will fly back home soon
his ginger 'air miles quota will be through the roof
ready for his next holiday to sunny Magaluf
purr purr

Biscuits: Borders Dark Chocolate Gingers
Tasting Notes: Dark and Delicious
Score:  8 out of 10

Think Pink

We're feeling good,
We're in the pink,
Pink champagne we like to drink.
Pink Floyd's our favourite band,
but Mr Blobby we can't stand.
Parker should drive a pink cadillac,
with Lady P sat in the back,
eating pink blancmange with spoons,
whilst watching 1970's Pink Panther cartoons.
Pinky and Perky have high pitched squeals,
pink flamingos scoff krill with their beaks.
Don't you find pink candyfloss gets in your hair,
blending in nicely with the pink rinse there?
Whilst pink Hubba Bubba blows a perfect bubble,
but if it pops on your nose you're in trouble.
Run Race4Life and you'll get a pink face,
raise funds for charity and pick up the pace.
At 3 o'clock everything stops for tea,
with a china cup and a raised pinky,
Pink sunset is a shepherd's delight,
it's time for bed - nighty night.


Biscuits: Pink Panther Wafers
Tasting Notes: All colour, no substance
Score:  6 out of 10

Champion Biker Clad in Lycra

As a boy Geraint Thomas
showed cycling promise,
on Sunday he crossed the line
winning the Tour for the very first time.

Wife Sara
his family flag bearer,
was at the end of the race
waiting to greet him in a tearful embrace.

Gareth Bale and Sam Warburton were his class mates
all three of them now sporting greats,
PE teacher Steve Williams
Got them on target to earn their millions

The Welsh Celtic Nation
is in a state of elation,
Proud of their champion biker
clad forever in  yellow lycra!

Biscuits: Smiley Cookies
Tasting Notes: Crisp and chocolatey - just what you need after a long cycle ride Geraint!
Score:  8 out of 10

Goodbye Alex

Our art therapist is moving on to new pastures
She's going to London to take on a Master's.
She'll leave behind a large blank space,
sadly we know she'll be hard to replace.
Goldsmiths Uni is receiving more gold,
her future before her will quickly unfold.
She's a very bright spark, with
a penchant for art,
She's vibrant, dynamic,
with a very big heart.
She introduced us to Van Gogh's Sunflowers,
Abstract Picasso, Dali's melting hours,
it's never too late for freezing fabrics,
and saving the world by knitting plastics.
She painted our fuel flap with tuk-tuk design,
The work she's done for us is truly sublime.
So thank you to Alex for imparting her knowledge
And we wish her success in her years at art college!

Biscuits: M&S Millionaire's Mini Bites and Rich Butter Flapjacks
Tasting Notes: A parting gift from Alex - delish!
Score:  9.5 out of 10

Talkin' Proper

Speak proper
Like what we do

Purse your lips
Like they're stuck with glue

Pop a plum in  your mouth
To speak like the Queen

But don't spit it out
Because that's obscene

You can speak as a toff
Like Jacob Rees Mogg

Or speak like Paul Gibbons
A blatant Hampshire Hog

Hooray Henrys say 'OK Yah'
Whilst Wurzels from Somerset go OOOOOO-ARRRRRRR

So whether you're a Lord Snooty or a local yokel
Shout loud, stay proud and be vocal.

Biscuits: Marbu Dorado
Tasting Notes: Remind us of Mallorca (The water in Mallorca don't taste like what it oughta)
Score:  9 out of 10

Caved In

A dozen boys and their football coach,
a mystical labyrinth they encroached,
the waters rose at an incredible rate,
trapping them in a terrible fate,
local legend has it that the cavernous hollow,
steals intruders to drown and swallow,
the group retreated into caves five miles deep,
their anxious families could do nothing but weep,
a plea for expertise went across the world,
causing an international rescue to unfurl,
the cynics said there would be no survivors,
but they didn't account for the brave British divers,
water and oxygen were pumped steadily in,
as the boys were trained for their perilous swim,
the subterranean gods claimed one courageous victim,
a Thai navy seal - the whole world mourns him,
eight brave boys are now safe on the surface,
whisked to hospital avoiding the media circus,
we hope and pray the final five,
will too reach the surface and survive.

Biscuits: Jacobs Cornish Wafers
Tasting Notes: Delicious with butter and Wensleydale cheese
Score:  9.5 out of 10