HuRraH it's a boy!

Hear ye all subjects of the realm,
This prince one day will take the helm.
Born yesterday at half past four,
A healthy 8lbs 6, who could ask for more?

Although a week late, it was worth the wait
for all the public at the palace gate.
The Duchess of Cambridge was delivered of a son
Today he's front page of "The Son" - what fun!

The princeling was born fit and healthy,
A golden boy, powerful and wealthy.
What name will be bestowed on him,
Shall it be "All hail King Tim"?

Or Arthur, Andrew, Philip or Olly,
Nay a republican choice would be such folly.
George is the name we think they'll choose,
This is a bet we just can't lose.

P.S. WillKat, can we have an O.B.E. once you've read our poetry?

Biscuit: McVities Gold Bars

Taste test: 9.8 out of 10
Cost: £1.59 from Tesco in Brockenhurst

McVitie's Quirky Medal Winner

Today we tried a McVitie's Quirk,

Then sat down to begin our work

On this, our biscuit poem.

'Very nice,' says Brian in his quiet wisdom.

Brittle surface, crunchy and short,

With a soft, dark, melting heart.

With biscuit in one hand, coffee in the other,

Simon says, 'a perfect gift for your lover.'

Not for you, if you're struggling with a diet,

Otherwise, we suggest you try it.

One of the very nicest biscuits sold,

In the Olympics it would sure win gold.

Biscuit: McVities Quirks

Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: £1.00 from Asda, Totton

The light, the dark and the plain

You may find milk chocolate digestives

so crunchy and crumbly and such a treat,

but to me their taste simply gives

a sense of excess. They are just too sweet.

But by contrast, I shall always desire

the more subtle plain chocolate digestive,

its dark and bitter and velvet attire,

its demeanour so suave and suggestive.

Biscuit: McVities Milk Chocolate Digestive

Taste test: 7.5 out of 10

Cost: £1.05 from Asda in Totton

A Proustian Rich Tea Moment

Dipping you slowly in my tea,

evokes so much memory,

of long afternoons with Granny

or picnics by the sea,

of working as a labourer

and dunking desperately,

before my tea break's over

and the foreman shouts at me.

Your dry and crispy texture

is not quite the best,

and the sediment you leave

in my cup I really do detest.

Nonetheless in search of so much time lost

you have all the qualities to boost

our writing so much so,

it sounds like Marcel Proust.

Biscuit: McVities Rich Tea Biscuit

Taste test: 5 out of 10

Cost: £1.09 from Tesco in High Wycombe