Have some free advice Roy

So on Thursday it's Uruguay,
the nation lets out a collective sigh,
Come on England we need to win,
or St George's flag will end up in the bin.

Lambert, Lallana and Shaw are our new saints,
put them in the team Roy and there'll be no complaints.
Return Rooney to centre forward - the right place,
then you'll have a team that won't disgrace.

Let the fans eat biscuit hat tricks,
to inspire Sturridge to score goals quick.
Coleen, Wag Queen, will arrive today,
her presence will raise Wayne's state of play.

Just six more games 'til we raise the cup,
winning smiles, champagne to sup,
C'mon three lions keep the vision alive,
defeat Uruguay, let hope survive.

Biscuit: Fox's Party Footballs

Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: Found them on the bus.