McVitie's Quirky Medal Winner

Today we tried a McVitie's Quirk,

Then sat down to begin our work

On this, our biscuit poem.

'Very nice,' says Brian in his quiet wisdom.

Brittle surface, crunchy and short,

With a soft, dark, melting heart.

With biscuit in one hand, coffee in the other,

Simon says, 'a perfect gift for your lover.'

Not for you, if you're struggling with a diet,

Otherwise, we suggest you try it.

One of the very nicest biscuits sold,

In the Olympics it would sure win gold.

Biscuit: McVities Quirks

Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: £1.00 from Asda, Totton

A letter of complaint

Dear Mr Fox,
We are not happy it's plain to see
As we eat your biscuits with our tea
The packaging promised a treat from heaven
But once inside there's only seven
Extremely chocolatey - what a nonsense
We want MORE chocolate on our conscience
If you've been making them since 1853
You haven't progressed much, quite frank-ly
The ingredients promise a coconut taste
You needn't have bothered, what a waste
An advert starring a gangster panda
Is not enough to prevent our slander
We have to say we feel outfoxed
There just aren't enough biscuits in this box.
Yours sincerely,
The Biscuit Poets

Biscuit: Fox's Chunkie Extremely Chocolatey Cookies

Taste test: 3 out of 10
Cost: £1.79 from Sainsbury's, Portswood

Peanut Cookie Haikus

Dutch nut cookies light
up this damp July morning
as rain slides down glass

Sy and Olly munch
through sugary, salt nut crunch
and so spoil their lunch

Lolling in the sun
peanut cookie picnic fun
rain falls, fun is done

In this recession
you've lifted my depression
Dutch biscuit heaven

Biscuit: Hellema Peanut Cookies

Taste test: 9 out of 10

Cost: 70p from Sainsbury's, Portswood