Biscuit Poetry Noir

[A free packet of Cafe Noir to the first reader to spot all the Film Noir references]

With a name like Cafe Noir
you'd expect to meet Marlene at the bar,
to the 1950s these take us back
when the silver screen was white and black,
when film noir was the latest craze
and Bacall and Bogart were the stars of those days.

Without a coffee bean in sight
to name them Cafe Noir just isn't right.
With this old-fashioned icing/biscuit mix
there's no chance of getting your caffeine fix,
you won't hear the Postman ring at all
because into the Big Sleep you're sure to fall

Biscuit: McVities Cafe Noir

Taste test: 5.5 out of 10
Cost: £1.35 from Nisa Local