Porkies

As a pig I'm much misunderstood
and I'm not one of those patrolling your neighbourhood!

You say I'm dirty and smelly
while you savour a plate of my pork belly,

Surely my bangers and rashers you'd sorely miss
if they did not feature in your Full English,

You think I'm taboo, I'm unclean
that my eyes are small and mean

Yet I'm celebrated with delight
by George Orwell and E.B. White,

Your children adore my celebrity set
Babe, Miss Piggy, Peppa and Piglet,

How can you say my snout's in the trough
when it's bankers and traders who can't get enough?

I could be your friend, I could be your lover
or maybe just a pig - undercover.



Biscuit: Percy Pig

Taste test: 7 out of 10
Cost: £2 from Marks and Spencer in Lymington