An Ace Poem for Andy. Anyone for Tennis?

Our biscuit today comes from South West Nineteen

where the tennis that fills our screen can be seen.

Beside the head office of Lidl UK

We can watch the contestants at play.

It’s a chocolate caramel shortcake,

Ideal between sets or a tense tie-break.

Wimbledon reaches its second week

and most of the famous seeds have lost out.

The trophy is there for Andy to seek.

We hope he gives that Serb a clout.

He’s yet to face his old foe Djokevic,

But we’re sure he’ll beat the son of a bitch*.

Fancied Federer, knock- kneed Nadal,

both favourites, at first hurdles fell.

Slipping Sharapova, disputing every call,

grunting grimly, could hardly return a ball.

The lanky Russian created such a racket.

It turned out she couldn’t really hack it.

Between Maria and Serena, there’s no love lost,

Miss Williams held the first advantage,

but despite her strength and courage,

she found so soon and to her cost

that when it comes to a final booming serve,

surely and serenely, you should hold your nerve.

Across the net the ball flies to and fro

The rally starts to pick up pace

When the match is tight, the deuces flow.

We like the player who can lose with grace,

Just like almost every wretched Brit.

No- one has the skill, the balls, the grit.

Even lovely Laura let us down.

That only leaves old Andy, with his frown.

Fred Perry won the last men’s British ace.

Murray, we all hope will finally save face.

He’s still on course to fulfil his dream

To become, like this biscuit, simply supreme

*An Apology

We like you really, Novak,

and can say for a fact

that Anita thinks you such a dish

that for no other would she wish,

and though you too can truly play,

for a tricksy rhyme all else gives way

Biscuit: Tower Gate Indulgent Chocolate Caramel Shortcakes

Taste test: 8 out of 10 - notice how the packaging is in Wimbledon colours!
Cost: From Lidl in Totton (very inexpensive).