Hammond's Sweetners

Budget, fudge it,
The Chancellor of the Exchequer
thinks he can make things better,
by offering sweetners
to us poor austere creatures.
More money for every school,
who is he trying to fool?
Extra cash for Universal Credit
could push the economy further into debit.
It's Hammond's goal
to fill the country's pot holes,
but it is affordable
and fiscally feasible?
Hammond is a financial Ali Bongo
using sleight of hand to spin
and strengthen our Brexit position.

Biscuits: Jammie Dodgers
Tasting Notes: Sooooo sweet
Score:  6 out of 10

Club Osbourne

Today is the day of the budget

When the Chancellor gets busy with his boxes

When Osbourne sets out again to fudge it

And takes our money for his taxes – we begrudge it.

George Osbourne likes his Clubs.

One to munch on,

Another for luncheon,

A member of all the 'too much' clubs

The leader of the 'out of touch' club.

He will only cater for the elite Tory Boys club,

the rest of us peasants he will certainly snub.

Soon, like Cyprus there'll be no cash in the machines,

poor old Georgie Boy will have to come clean.

He doesn't live in our world

Where biscuit crumbs matter,

He's the king of the cats

And just keeps getting fatter.

Biscuit: Club Biscuit (we tried orange and mint - greedy!)

Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost:  Jacob's Club Variety Pack (24 biscuits) £3.99 from Tesco in Brockenhurst