Hammond's Sweetners

Budget, fudge it,
The Chancellor of the Exchequer
thinks he can make things better,
by offering sweetners
to us poor austere creatures.
More money for every school,
who is he trying to fool?
Extra cash for Universal Credit
could push the economy further into debit.
It's Hammond's goal
to fill the country's pot holes,
but it is affordable
and fiscally feasible?
Hammond is a financial Ali Bongo
using sleight of hand to spin
and strengthen our Brexit position.

Biscuits: Jammie Dodgers
Tasting Notes: Sooooo sweet
Score:  6 out of 10

Jammie Dodger Debarcle

Up until recently dodgers

have been dairy free.

Vegans have walked a-whey,

their using a petition to have their say.

Burton's claim the changes 

are out of necessity

to make them more sugar free

to fight obesity.

For half a century 

it's been the same recipe,

to alter it now is surely a travesty?

A sumptuous feast of jam and shortbread

that elicits deep joy from toes to the head.

It's a corporate decision to increase profit'

but vegans don't care 

they just want to scoff it.

Their rallying cry, to cause an affray

is 'C'mon Burton's, Get Out The Whey!'

Biscuit: Burton's Jammie Dodgers
Taste test:  9 out of 10 (at the moment!)
Cost: Gift from a fan of the old recipe

Dodging the Issue

Tacky with a texture like glue

The memories come flooding through,

You remind me of my youth

When I acted so uncouth

Running around

the playground

With just one tooth,

That's all you left me

Biscuit oh so jammy.

Biscuit: Jammie Dodger

Taste test: 4 out of 10

Cost: £1.15 from Asda in Totton