Celebrating Sweet Sue's Fabulous Fiftieth

[Sue is Headway Southampton's Finance and Admin Manager and so much more, without her we would all be lost - literally!]

Sue's the grand old age of fifty,
No wonder she's looking so shifty.
But she's not yet over the hill
like poor old Jack and Jill.

She sits in her office counting Headway's money,
her auburn hair flows down like honey.
She lets us in and out, a smile across her face,
like Sunday's child, she's full of grace.

Peter puts the kettle on, Sue can take it off again.
For falls and a broken head
She's better than all the king's men,
as in Humpty's rhyme it's said.

So thank you, Sue, lavender blue, for the caramel bite,
We hope so many candles didn't set your house alight.

Biscuit: 20 Caramel Crispy Bites (we only had 18, 2 had already been eaten)

Taste test: 7 out of 10
Cost: £1.70 from Tesco (left over from Sue's party)

www.william wallace's wafer

Tunnock's caramel wafers are made near Glasgow
for those of you who'd like to know

It is fair to say that a Tunnock's
is the favoured biscuit of the Jocks
(William Wallace ate them with his kilt and his dreadlocks)
They help keep Scotland's economy at its peak
with 5 million bars sold every week

The Sassenachs think they taste quite spiffing
even though their emblem is a scottish griffin
Like Glenmorangie they're really popular
and just the same keep the scots folk jocular

Be sure to try, don't give them a miss
or else Jamie will give you a Glasgow kiss!

Biscuit: Tunnock's Caramel Wafer Biscuit

Taste test: 9.9 out of 10
Cost: £2.89 for 16 from Ocado 

Polished Off

Paluszki, Paluszki
they're polish not ruski,
our friend Richard brought them back
he's in the RAF, an important chap.

They didn't survive the journey well,
all crumbled and broken and as stale as hell.
Soft in texture, orange in taste,
enrobed in chocolate, they were eaten post haste.

Made by Krakuski, perhaps in Krakow [pronounced Krakoff],
It didn't take long to polish them off.

Biscuit: Paluszki

Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: 3.75 zloty from Poland (thanks Rich)

We love OBAMA more than biscuits

It's the presidential election today
votes will be cast across the USA
a cross in the box is all they can do
making a choice between red and blue.
It's a contest fought between two heavyweights
over who can win more of those crucial swing states
Hurricane Sandy gave Obama a boost
not to mention Jay-Z, Katy Perry and Bruce.
We think Mitt's a loser - he doesn't quite cut it
he should go home to Belmont and learn how to 'shut it'.

By the way
we must say
we had Malted Milks today
hooray!

Biscuit: Malted Milks

Taste test: 9.5 out of 10
Cost: 34p from Tesco in Brockenhurst

Mikado Chocolate Sparklers

This October half-term, Jo left us a gift.

Mikado, a thin, straight straw of a biscuit.

One we all liked, a cracker and a sparkler,

although for us the chocolate could be darker.

Mikado, we thought the name was Chinese,

and the Chinese invented the gunpowder

that Guy Fawkes laid for a bang far louder.

Soldiers found him, with a match, on his knees.

Judges decided to string him up high.

Now all that remains is the shabby old guy,

ragged and stuffed, an ugly, grinning mask,

slumped by a wall where the children ask

for your money and mine.  Mikado, the name

it turns out, of a European game,

where the highest stick is the Japanese

ruler.  ‘Would you like another one?’  ‘Yes please.’

As for the biscuits, the poem Brian forgot

and if he could he’d have eaten the lot.

Biscuit: Mikado

Taste test: 8 out of 10
Cost: £1.39 from Waitrose in Romsey