Yule Tidings

T'was the week before Christmas
on a crisp winter's morn
2012 years after Jesus was born.

Santa was getting ready
his eleves were in tow
his reindeer were snorting, eager to go.

Many elves were poorly
and in great distress
the National Elf Service was really hard pressed.

But who will feed Rudolf
his 5 carrots a day?
He won't have the energy to pull Santa's sleigh.

Fear not here's Lidl's Choco Softies
a light marshmallow treat
they'll keep Rudolf moving 'til he lands on his feet.

MERRY CHRISTMAS HO HO HO

Biscuit: Choco Softies

Taste test: 7.3 out of 10
Cost: Not much, lost the receipt, but bought from Lidl so good value!

The light, the dark and the plain

[A digestive dilemma]

You may find milk chocolate digestives
so crunchy and crumbly and such a treat,
but to me their taste simply gives
a sense of excess. They are just too sweet.

But by contrast, I shall always desire
the more subtle plain chocolate digestive,
its dark and bitter and velvet attire,
its demeanour so suave and suggestive.

Biscuit: McVitie's Digestives - Dark Chocolate

Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost: £1.75 from Tesco in Brockenhurst

Biscuit Poetry Noir

[A free packet of Cafe Noir to the first reader to spot all the Film Noir references]

With a name like Cafe Noir
you'd expect to meet Marlene at the bar,
to the 1950s these take us back
when the silver screen was white and black,
when film noir was the latest craze
and Bacall and Bogart were the stars of those days.

Without a coffee bean in sight
to name them Cafe Noir just isn't right.
With this old-fashioned icing/biscuit mix
there's no chance of getting your caffeine fix,
you won't hear the Postman ring at all
because into the Big Sleep you're sure to fall

Biscuit: McVities Cafe Noir

Taste test: 5.5 out of 10
Cost: £1.35 from Nisa Local