Club Osbourne

Today is the day of the budget

When the Chancellor gets busy with his boxes

When Osbourne sets out again to fudge it

And takes our money for his taxes – we begrudge it.

George Osbourne likes his Clubs.

One to munch on,

Another for luncheon,

A member of all the 'too much' clubs

The leader of the 'out of touch' club.

He will only cater for the elite Tory Boys club,

the rest of us peasants he will certainly snub.

Soon, like Cyprus there'll be no cash in the machines,

poor old Georgie Boy will have to come clean.

He doesn't live in our world

Where biscuit crumbs matter,

He's the king of the cats

And just keeps getting fatter.

Biscuit: Club Biscuit (we tried orange and mint - greedy!)

Taste test: 9 out of 10
Cost:  Jacob's Club Variety Pack (24 biscuits) £3.99 from Tesco in Brockenhurst

Viscount, Baronets and Miscounts

Most Viscounts are minted
with assets and land,
sat in their wallpapered mansions
with posh biscuits in hand.

Poor old George Osbourne he's only a baronet
as hereditary titles go he hasn't made it quite yet.
People are mourning, the nation is skint
take solace in these Viscounts with a sharp hint of mint.

Biscuit: Lyons Viscount Biscuits

Taste test: 8.5 out of 10
Cost: £1.00 from Poundland in Shirley